I Walk in Shadows
by Jude Mackenzie
Summary: Two sightings of a shadowy, red-eyed stranger coincide with two sudden, tragic accidents. So far Becca Ryan has walked away alive twice; will her luck hold the third time or will fate throw the girl and her friend Matt beyond the help of even the Cullens?
1. First Sight

**Summary: Popular party girl Becca Ryan goes to Dartmouth University; studies hard during the day, plays harder with her band at night. At one of the parties, she sees a stranger lurking in the shadows…she sees him twice more, walks away alive twice. Will her luck hold the third time? **

**A/N: Please, please review to let me know what you think. Even if you read the first paragraph and decide you don't want to read any more…tell me. I really want to be able to improve, and I can't if you don't tell me what you like/hate!**

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**First Sight**

She noticed him at first because, at a party where alcohol flowed as liberally as monsoon rain in India, he wasn't drinking. Well – he was holding a bottle so it was possible he could be simply replacing it whenever it ran out, but Becca knew for a fact that all of _that_ particular drink had run out an hour ago. So unless he'd passed out standing up, with his eyes open and one foot tapping gently to the beat of the music, he wasn't drinking.

She noticed him next because she'd never seen him before. It wasn't like she knew _everybody_ at Dartmouth, but she'd seen the majority of the faces when she did gigs with her band. Besides, this was her best friend's party so she knew – or had at least seen – most of the people there.

Thirdly he was remarkable because nobody else seemed to see him where he stood alone in the shadows that filled an alcove not quite lit by the lights that spilled from the house. Well, nobody was at their most perceptive after around seven drinks each, she reasoned. She'd probably be the same if she wasn't working tonight, although that hadn't stopped her bandmates from chugging down beers as if Prohibition was going to be reintroduced tomorrow.

The only other people around were making out and doing God only knew what else in various corners of the yard.

"Becca!" A voice called forlornly, and she turned to see her cousin stumbling towards her. "Becca, I need to talk to you." With a sigh, she turned away from her surreptitious study of the man in the alcove, took Amber by the elbow and steered her towards a low brick wall. "Becca, I need to talk to you…" Amber blinked earnest, dilated eyes, swaying slightly, and Becca wondered just what she was on. "Becca, I slept with your boyfriend."

Amber's cousin sighed. "I don't have a boyfriend. I broke up with him, remember?"

The intoxicated girl blinked slowly. "Why?"

"Because you slept with him." _And I haven't talked to either of you since, except when you were drunk. _"Seriously, Amber, stop drinking. I'll call Pete and tell him to pick you up, all right?"

"'M 'kay…" Her head drooped down onto Becca's shoulder, who pulled out her cellphone with a sigh and dialled the number of her other cousin, Amber's brother.

"Pete? Hey…" She blocked one ear with her finger against the noise of the party. "Can you come…yeah, Amber. I don't know…That'd be great, thanks. See you soon, Pete."

It was more, she mused, than most cousins would do, not even counting the whole you-slept-with-my-boyfriend thing. But nonetheless she sat with Amber until Pete arrived, watched as he loaded his sister into the car and drove away.

Then, at last, she was free to go back to the party. As she turned, her eyes flicked across the alcove and some part of her noted that it was empty. But she didn't really think about it as she stepped back into the flashing lights and raging music, into the sweaty crush of bodies and drunken laughter. When her best friend Jen asked the band to play, she leapt up onto the newly erected stage with her band and they played into the small hours of the morning until the drummer slumped over his drums and the tired bassist tripped over a loose wire and had to have his ankle strapped up.

* * *

Becca woke slowly in what she recognised was the bed in Jen's spare room. Light filtered into the room through the gap in the blinds, tinting the room soft gold and filling it with shadows that moved as the breeze coming through the open window shifted the curtains gently. The silence – blissful after last night – which flooded the house told her that nobody else was awake yet, and she sighed happily, snuggling back into the solid warmth of the boy whose body spooned her where she lay.

Her hand absently covered his where it rested on her stomach and Becca felt him shift to pull her closer even in sleep; she revelled in the feel of his protective strength around her, acutely conscious of the strong, steady heartbeat against her back, the slow warmth of his breath on her neck.

She would have been perfectly content to stay like that all day, had the sudden painful tingle of pins and needles not begun to creep along the leg that was pinned down by one of his, so with clenched teeth Becca started to slowly extricate her leg from the tangle of limbs, trying not to gasp as sensation returned in a surge of prickling pain.

"Becca?" A startled murmur in her ear, arms tightening around her as the even pattern of the boy's breathing altered.

"I'm not going anywhere," she replied softly. He remained still for a moment longer, holding her closely to him before relaxing as quickly as he had woken, nose nuzzling warmly into the side of her neck so that his hair brushed across her cheek.

With her eyes closed, Becca smiled dreamily. Matt was her best friend and bandmate; they were also what the two of them laughingly termed 'kissing friends'; when neither was dating anyone else, they often sought out the other for dates or more. They went out together, sometimes slept together, but there was never any bad feeling when a new boyfriend or girlfriend was acquired. In fact, they didn't even specifically tell the other; Becca knew that when either of them felt it necessary to ask the other's permission to date somebody else, their easy friendship would be over.

That would be a disaster, because Becca didn't know what she'd do without Matt. Not to mention the fact that recently she had become fairly certain that she was falling in love with him.

She knew, of course, that if she told him he'd probably run a mile. She was his friend, confidante, bandmate, bedmate. Not his girlfriend. When they were together, he called her 'Becca' or 'baby', but otherwise she was 'Ryan' – one of the boys.

"You're thinking very loudly, baby," he murmured lazily into her neck, and she couldn't help but smile. "What's up?" His warm breath on her skin had shivers running down her spine, and she gave his hand a little squeeze.

"I'm thinking you probably have one hell of a headache from last night," she replied.

"You'd be right." Her breath caught as his other hand began to trace a line down the length of the arm that lay on the pillow above her head; one long, sure movement that begun at her wrist, continued over her shoulder blade and caught on the strap of her top, tugging it down slightly so that he could press a kiss to the centre of her back just above the clasp of her bra. His touch seemed to burn her skin, leaving her in no doubt as to what he wanted. "Luckily, I know a sure cure for headaches."

"Oh, really?" She was already breathless as she arched her body back against him, feeling his muscles tense and the rising heat that smouldered even through the two layers of clothing they'd not bothered to remove when falling, exhausted, onto the bed the night before. "Do tell. I'm sure the rest of the band will be glad to know of a hangover cure."

The intensity of his reply would have surprised her had she been any state to consider it; it came as a feral growl, even as his teeth nipped at her neck to make her moan. "Not a chance, baby. You're all mine."

"What makes you think so?" The fingers of the hand lying over her stomach had tightened to bunch at her clothing as if ready to tear the thin material; Becca dragged his hand up to her breasts, drawing the material with it so her top hitched upward. His other hand made its own way down to her hip, scraped lightly across the bone that jutted out before dipping suddenly down to the waistline of her panties.

"_Mine_, Becca." All too suddenly he withdrew from her, eliciting a sudden whimper of protest – there wasn't enough breath in her lungs for anything else. The girl found herself on her back as he hovered over her, hair a golden halo framing his face against the morning light as he swooped down to capture her mouth. One knee pushed her thighs apart and Becca moaned into his mouth, hands pinned helplessly at her sides by his stronger fingers as his mouth continued to ravish hers.

When he at last released her mouth, both were gasping for breath. Her eyes met his with a sort of awe. Becca was speechless; the queer intensity in his eyes, in his kiss, both confused and excited her. She half lifted her head from the pillow in a mute plea for another kiss, when the telephone rang.

They both started, staring at each other in indecision as it rang on, unanswered. "They'll call back if it's important." Matt's voice was husky with desire, and he claimed her mouth once more as the phone fell silent.

She'd lost her top and was in the process of relieving Matt of his shirt when the phone rang again.

Their eyes met for an agonizingly long second. "Leave it," the boy pleaded with her.

"If it's important…" But the sentence ended in a gasp as his fingers traced the curve of her breast along the edge of the bra cup, lips kissing her collarbone.

It was Becca's cellphone which interrupted the third time, but this time she didn't wait for Matt to persuade her out of it before scrambling guiltily across the bed to snatch it up from the bedside table. Matt fell back on the bed resignedly but refused to relinquish his hold on Becca's free hand.

Both of them could hear the caller's words clearly. "Becca? Thank God, thank God…"

"Jackie. Is everything okay?" Jen's mom.

"Is everybody all right, is Jen okay? Where is she, is Dan there too?" Matt rolled his eyes; how to explain to a mother that her twenty-one year-old daughter was, at this moment in bed with her boyfriend sleeping off what had probably been a drunken orgy? Becca half smiled at his expression, but there was a line of worry between on her forehead at Jackie Davenport's tone.

"They're still asleep. Everyone's still asleep."

"Thank God," Jen's mother repeated. "Did I wake you?"

"Something like that," Matt muttered. Suppressing a giggle, Becca dragged the bedsheet from underneath him to wrap around herself before stepping off the bed.

"I'll go get her for you." She froze suddenly in the doorway, but Matt couldn't hear why as the caller's voice had faded. "A…shit. Shit. No, we're here. We're okay. Yes. Yes, I'll wake Jen and get her to…about five minutes. God." She hung up without saying goodbye, turned back.

"Matt." He had sprung up in an instant, was gathering her into his arms. Her face was dead white, and she looked like she was about to faint. "God. There's been an accident."

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**A/N: What do you think? Please review! Love Jude ;)**


	2. Burn Out

**A/N: Thanks to Not That Girl for being my ONLY reviewer...**

**By the way, I can promise that the Cullens WILL be appearing in this story - just not yet.**

**Same as applies to last chapter - please review, even if you only read the first paragraph and hated it, because i can't improve if you don't tell me where I'm going wrong. Please, please do this for me - it won't take long! Love, Jude ;)**

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**Burn Out **

"Jen, honey, wake up. Wake up, Jen!"

For the third time, Jen simply batted a hand at Becca, rolled over to bury her face in Dan's shoulder. Even when she had gone to bed stone-cold sober, trying to get Jen out of bed was never easy, but Jen had been nowhere near sober since about eight the night before.

"Jen –"

"Look, Becca." Jen half lifted her head, bleary panda-eyes where she hadn't wiped off her make-up before falling into bed. "Go fuck Matt, or something, but leave me the hell alone. I'm asleep." And she dropped her head back down to the pillow.

Despairingly, Becca took a deep breath and hoped that – one day – Jen would forgive her for what she was about to do. "Jennifer Louisa Davenport! Get your ass out of bed this instant, your mom's on her way over!"

Oh, yeah. That worked.

"_What?_" Jen shot bolt upright with a scream. Dan, abruptly woken, propped himself up on one hand with a groan. Becca cast a triumphant glance backwards to Matt, found him watching her with a grin.

"What?" she asked.

"Yelling that their mom's on their way over does wake people up surprisingly quickly, especially if they're in bed with somebody."

"Old habits die hard," Becca replied.

"My mom? Where's my mom? Wait a minute," Jen's eyes narrowed, "Mom and Dad are vacationing in Quebec. Why would they be coming here?"

"They will be if you don't get your ass out of bed and call her," Becca told her firmly. "Apparently there's been an accident –"

"Whoa. _Whoa_, Becca. What's happened, are Mom and Dad okay?"

"Car accident on campus, Jen. Your parents heard about it and your mom flipped, thought it might have been you...she wants you to call her back. Now."

"Sure. Matt, get out of here and put some coffee on. And there's some Tylenol in the cupboard next to the fridge if you need it." Always cool-headed in an emergency, Jen took a deep breath, pressed her fingers to her temples. "When?"

"Early this morning." Becca's voice wavered. "That means..."

"Someone from my party. Shit." Jen slid out of bed, wincing at the thud her feet made hitting the floor, and began to dig through the piles of clothes slung over her chair for something to put on. "Do we know who? Who stayed over?"

"The whole band's here. Jack and Jamie and Chris, so Candy and probably Hannah as well."

"Good." Jen bent to brush a light kiss across her sleeping boyfriend's forehead, but Dan didn't stir and she smiled fondly. "Come on, Becca, I could really do with some coffee."

"Face first, Jen. You look like a panda." The girls' eyes met, and wordlessly they wrapped their arms around each other. "It might not be anybody we know." Becca's words were for herself as much as they were for her friend.

"It wasn't us." Jen voiced the thought of all survivors. "Thank God, Becca. I know it sounds awful, but...thank God it wasn't us."

Downstairs in the kitchen, a rather subdued huddle of people crowded around the table nursing mugs of coffee. An empty packet of Tylenol lay in the centre. Becca took a quick survey of who was there; Matt, holding out two mugs wordlessly to them; Jack Freeman – drummer – and his twin sister Hannah who was leaning sleepily into boyfriend Josh's shoulder; Jamie, bassist, with his swollen foot up on a chair.

"Hey, pretty girls," Jamie greeted them. "Got a good morning kiss for me, Ryan?"

"Hands off, Jamie." Matt handed the coffee to Jen and Becca, smoothly sliding his arm around the latter's waist. "You okay, baby?" She nodded and, because they both needed it, pressed a kiss to his lips.

"Okay, okay, I get the point." Jamie held up his hands in resignation.

"Jeez, I wonder who got laid last night," Jack muttered.

"No prizes for guessing who _didn't_," his sister replied pointedly. Jack shrugged, took a swig of his coffee.

"Where's Chris?" Jen asked as she dug in the cupboard for another packet of Tylenol.

Jamie rolled his eyes. "Where do you think? He and Candy laid dibs on your other spare room. Jen, have you any idea how uncomfortable your couch is?"

"There's always the floor if you don't like the couch," Jen told him.

Becca still hadn't spoken. The faces of all the people she knew – all the people who had been at the party – kept flashing in front of her eyes. She'd seen just how drunk a lot of them had been. What if any one of them had got in a car like that, tried to drive even the short distance onto the university campus? What if they'd had more people in the car with them?

"Hey, Becca. Becca, baby, stay with me." Matt's arms enfolded her as she began to tremble, pulled her onto his lap as he sat down on an empty chair. "It's all right. It's okay, baby." He stroked her dark hair gently as she clung to him, face pressed into his shoulder. "It's all right."

Several of their friends exchanged startled glances. "Would anybody like to tell us exactly what's going on?" Hannah asked.

"Didn't Matt tell you?" Jen continued studying her best friend, watching speculatively as Matt continued to comfort Becca with soft words and gentle caresses.

"No," Jack replied shortly. "What, are those two guys actually officially dating at last? Or –"

Jen seemed to suddenly spring to life. "Damn it, Jesus! I have to call my mom!"

"But what –"

"There's been an accident." Becca drew in a deep breath, calm again, although she continued to snuggle in Matt's lap. "Jen's mom called a little while ago, to check we were okay. A car crash on campus..." Her voice trailed away as Jen punched a number into her phone.

"Jen? Jen, is that you?"

"Hi Mom, it's me. You're on speaker phone. We're okay."

"Thank God." Jackie Davenport took two long, deep breaths. "When I heard...your aunt called me, it's all over the news. A blue golf, total burn out on campus, and I thought..."

There was silence in the kitchen. Jen drew one shaking hand across her eyes; she had a blue golf. "We're okay, Mom. We're all right."

Silently Jack stood up and switched on the TV, volume on mute. They watched the words scroll across the screen, not really listening as Jen's mom talked on with relief. _Burned out car on the campus of Dartmouth University...probably students returning to their dorms. Cause, suspected to be driving under the influence, no other vehicles involved. Four body bags..._

Four body bags. Four people dead in one night.Four people they knew. _Identity withhold...no survivors, pleas for witnesses. Burned out car on the campus of Dartmouth University..._

Identity withheld, or unidentifiable?

"We'll probably have cops coming over sometime today," Jen spoke quietly after her mom had hung up. "See who was here, if they were here...They'll want to talk to you, Becca. You're the only one who was sober enough to remember anything last night."

Becca nodded wordlessly, and Matt's arms clasped her even more tightly.

As they all began to clear up the debris left scattered about the house from the night before, Becca paused, watched her friends. Four body bags; it could have so easily been them. Becca, Jen, Dan and Matt. Hannah, Josh, Jack and whatever girl he was with. Chris, Candy and Jamie.

Jen had had it right before. Thank God. Thank God it hadn't been them.

* * *

"Becca, honey, can I come in?"

"Sure. I'm not doing anything." Becca swung around in her desk chair with a wan smile as Jen came into her room, softly shut the door behind her. She took one look at her best friend's face and sprung up. "I was just about to go grab a coffee from downstairs, watch a movie with some people."

"Rebecca Natasha Ryan, sit right back down and stop trying to avoid me. You and I need to talk." She sat down on the edge of the bed, crossed her legs carefully. "There's something wrong, Becca."

Becca slid slowly back down into her chair. "It's nothing. There's nothing wrong."

"I'm your best friend, Becca. I've known you since high school; we've been through everything together. Break ups, your mom and dad's divorce, my pregnancy scare…shit, Becca. Don't shut me out now." Becca could see how close to tears she was, how upset she was, and in a blink was across the room and at her side.

"Jen. Jen, I haven't been meaning to shut you out. Honestly, Jen, I swear. I didn't realize I was." Her arms were wrapped tightly around the other girl. "I didn't…jeez, Jen, I didn't realize there _was_ anything wrong."

"You've been shutting yourself away in your room," Jen pointed out, "moping around, and you've been avoiding everybody except Matt. Then every now and again – when we _do_ manage to drag you out so you don't putrefy in here – you've got this weird dreamy look in this eye as if you're somewhere else altogether. In my books, that means there's something up, honey."

"Sorry, Jen. I just…Matt and me, we needed to sort something out."

"Shit." Jen's eyes were massive. "You're not pregnant, are you?"

"Pregnant? No!" That elicited a laugh and a smile so much more like the normal Becca that Jen breathed an audible sigh of relief. "It's just band stuff."

"Oh, _band_ stuff." Jen rolled her eyes. "So you're writing a new song. Why didn't you just say that, honey? I'd understand when you weird out if you told me you were writing a new song."

"I don't weird out every time we write a new song," Becca retorted, her attempt to look insulted marred by the slight smile.

"Oh, _sure_. And that also explains why you and Matt are spending so much time together. So much _more_ time than normal," she corrected herself. "You're writing. Or should I say getting inspiration for a new song?"

"Shut up, Jen." Once upon a time, Becca would have blushed, but she'd been friends with Jen too long. "It's not like that."

"No, it's never just like that with you two. Why can't that boy get his act together and ask you out properly? Or are you just 'Ryan' this week?"

"We're friends, Jen. Have you any idea how much us dating would fuck everything up?"

"You know your problem, honey?" Jen hugged her friend close to her side. "You spend entirely too much time with boys. You're friends, best friends; you sleep with him, but you don't date him because it would 'screw everything up'. That is _such_ a male outlook."

"Oh, really?" Becca cocked one eyebrow. "Just to show you how much of a girl I am, how about we go shopping tomorrow?"

"Done," Jen snapped it up. "You, me, Hannah, Candy. We can get stuff for Hamish's party next weekend."

A light seemed to go out of Becca's eyes. "Jen, I'm not sure…"

"This isn't just the song writing that's making you weird, is it?" Jen lifted Becca's chin with one finger, green eyes meeting grey ones unflinchingly. "Becca, honey, it's been three months. You can't avoid parties forever just because of what happened at the last one. It was an accident, honey, and nothing you can do will change that. I know it's hell, Becca. But it's over. It's done."

"They died, Jen. God, they died." She drew in a long, shuddering breath. "It's not just the song. I remember seeing them as they left your party, checking with Chloë if she had a lift. She said it was okay, because Cam was driving and he hadn't been drinking."

"Becca." Jen's voice was stern. "You've hardly been eating, and you haven't been sleeping. You've got purple rings under your eyes – yes, I mean purple – and you've lost weight. But get this, honey._ It_ _wasn't your fault_. Whatever happened wasn't on you."

"Yeah. I know that." She closed her grey eyes. "I know."

"Chloë must have been wrong, Cam was an idiot, and it cost them their lives. It wasn't you."

"I know." Becca repeated it once more before looking up at her best friend's anxious face again. "Thanks, Jen."

"You're welcome, you silly girl." Jen hugged her tightly. "So, when do I get to see this new song of yours?"

"It's not finished yet…" Becca lowered her eyes, and Jen grinned. They went through this little dance every time.

"Please…I won't tell anyone," she coaxed.

"I don't know…only Matt's seen it so far."

"Matt won't mind." She smiled winningly, let out a little cheer when Becca reached out to pull a sheet of paper free from a pile. "Jeez, honey, not very neat is it?" They grinned at each other. Perfectionist Jen versus scribbler Becca, the same game, same tease every time. Best friends.

Jen looked back down at the paper. "'It's a burn out…'" Her voice died away as she carried on reading.

_It's a burn out  
Fires rise to consume your dreams  
It's a break down  
Flames roaring to hide your screams  
And I don't know why I never let you know  
And I don't know why you just let it go  
Because every second's what you earn  
Don't race through life with naught to learn  
Slow down  
Stay safe  
Don't crash and burn._

"'Your road has come to an end. It's not going to start again.'" Jen's green eyes scanned the page once more before lifting to meet Becca's. "Honey, it's…"

"Not finished," Becca replied softly. "I need to change the wording, need to work on it." She took a deep breath. "I'll come to the party, Jen. But I'll drive. And I'm not drinking."

Jen continued watching her mutely, green eyes bright with tears.

"It wasn't us, Jen," Becca smiled sadly. "It wasn't us, and I'm not going to let it be."

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**A/N: Please review! If you do I'll come check out your profile, read and REVIEW your stories... Love, Jude ;)**


	3. Second Chance

**A/N: Thanks to those of you who have reviewed and/or added this as an alert...hope you enjopy this next chapter. Don't worry, things will become gradually clearer! Please leave me a review to let me know what you think. Love, Jude ;)**

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**Second Chance**

"Thanks for agreeing to come." Jen squeezed her friend's hand as they climbed out of Jen's car outside Hamish's house. Hannah and Candy had already dashed off to find their respective boyfriends who were arriving separately, so the two best friends were left alone. "I can't believe you're making me not drink tonight."

"You'll survive. And I mean that."

"But Hamish has got his brother driving a minivan back to campus, I could –"

"Jen, honey, you don't live on campus, remember? Your uber-rich parents bought you a house."

"I hate you sometimes. But I'm still glad you're here, parties are always so dull without you."

"I doubt you even notice if I'm there or not!" Becca laughed. If there was a slight nervous edge to the sound, neither commented on it.

"I do. I keep finding cute boys and thinking I have to point them out to you, but you're not there, so…" She made a face.

"What's this I hear about cute boys?" Dan folded his arms about Jen's waist from behind, swung her close to him as she squealed. "I see you survived all the shopping then, Becca. I take it Jen decided you are a girl after all."

"Of course she's a girl." Matt appeared next to Becca, visibly confused. "Why wouldn't she be a girl?"

"Says the boy who calls her 'Ryan'." Jen rolled her eyes. "Come on, let's get down to the party."

"Remember what you promised!" Becca called after her. "You too, Matt."

"I won't drink." His eyes flicked up and down over her, perhaps lingered a little too long. "You look good."

"Thanks." Becca executed a neat spin to show off the new jean shorts that flaunted the long length of her legs, the top that left no doubt that she was the girl she claimed. "Come on. Let's go fishing." She didn't notice that Matt didn't reply, and even if she had wouldn't have read anything into it. Becca had long ago given up hoping that she would be the first girl Matt looked at, but it didn't matter. She was in love with him – she was certain now – but as long as he kept turning to her as friend, confidante, lover, she didn't mind if that relationship was exactly exclusive. Hell, there was nothing she could do about it if she _did_ mind.

There were people already dancing, drinking in the house when they got inside, the bass turned high as the music blared and thumped throughout the rooms which were filled with students and friends from the university. Becca wove her way through to the kitchen, waving at people she knew as she passed and fending off a few boys who tried to get her to dance with them.

"Ryan, you came!" Jamie lifted his bottle in a toast to her, keeping his other arms firmly around the shoulder of some blonde girl Becca recognized from around campus. "You remember Lucie, Ryan? She's Hamish's cousin…"

"I do." The girls eyed each other up and down warily, Lucie clinging even closer to Jamie. Becca resisted the urge to roll her eyes; it was always the same first reaction from the girls any one of the boys in the band picked up. "And yes, I came. Remember what I said, Jamie." She looked at the bottle in his hand pointedly.

"Sure, sure." Regardless, Jamie took a chug of his drink. "Don't worry, Ryan, I'm not driving. I'll either get the bus back to campus, or…" His words died off and he glanced at Lucie.

"I'm staying here," Lucie shrugged with apparent carelessness, but there was a sharp gleam in her eyes. Yes, definitely staking her claim on him. Becca ignored the challenge in Lucie's face, ignored the fact that the girl was creeping a hand up beneath Jamie's shirt even as she spoke.

"Great. Well, I'll see you around." She continued into the kitchen where she found the table crammed with crates of alcohol, the small space around crowded with people. Chris and Candy were there – Becca's bandmate pressing his girlfriend up against the wall as he made out with her – and others talking, grabbing bottles of beer or smoking. Becca made her way through the haze the cigarettes spat out to where an almost untouched box of soda had been pushed into one corner, bent down to pull out a bottle.

"Could you pass me one too, please?" The boy's voice came from behind her, and without a thought she drew another bottle from the pack, turned to pass it to him.

She was caught completely off guard by his closeness and just how good he smelled.

Dark blonde hair, slightly too long, flopped into a face that had Becca's breath catching in her throat; perfect features, dark eyes of an unidentifiable colour in this light… "Hi," he greeted her. Talking only drew attention to his mouth – dammit, he was too close!

"Hi." She blinked, forced herself to look up again, handed him the bottle. "Here."

"Thanks." He took a step back, held out a hand to help her up. His skin was very cold as his long fingers closed lingeringly around her own, and the slight tug he gave to bring her to her feet had her stumbling too close again, close enough to smell the sweetness of his skin once more even through the cigarette smoke that hung in the air of the kitchen. "Not drinking either?"

Becca shook her head dumbly, took a step backward. Her head was spinning, as if she was intoxicated by his mere presence, and she took a calming sip of her soda. Viewing him again with less stunned eyes, she was sure she recognised him. He looked perhaps a year or two older than her; his face was so striking she knew she would have definitely remembered had he attended the University. So where had she seen him before? Was it –

"Hey, Becca, want a smoke?" She turned at the interruption to see Brad – a boy from her class – offering a packet with a dazed expression.

"No thanks. I need my lungs." Brad laughed wildly, muddled by the alcohol he'd drunk and whatever else he'd been inhaling, stumbled away. "Idiot," Becca murmured under her breath.

"So what do you need your lungs for?" She looked back at the soda boy, heart flying into her throat once more as she revelled in his perfection again. His tone was light, teasing, but there was an odd intensity in his eyes as he watched her. She realized then that he still hadn't let go of his grip on her hand, became aware of the sensation of _something_ passing between their linked fingers.

"I sing," she shrugged with forced casualness. "In a band. And I breathe. What about you?"

"No, neither of those." Those lips twisted mockingly even as he laughed. "You're in a band?"

"Yeah, we do a lot of parties. You're new around here?" Then it struck her. The boy in the alcove – half hidden in shadows – the one who wasn't drinking. She didn't remember him being _this_ gorgeous, though; caught herself as her eyes skimmed down his torso where the t-shirt clung ever so slightly, the small slit of flesh between shirt and jeans. "No – you were at Jen's party a few months ago."

Maybe it was her imagination, but the boy seemed to tense, a ripple running along his jaw, and he carefully let go of her hand. The sudden loss of that contact was strange; as if a power switch had been flicked to the off position and was longer sending a current through her. "Was I?" There was a sudden caution to his carelessness, even as he leant casually back against the table so that the muscles in his arms flexed.

Forcing her thoughts away from his body, Becca nodded. "I remember seeing you. You didn't drink then, either."

"Courtyard? You were with another girl who got picked up early."

"Right." Perhaps it was creepy that he remembered, but hey – only as creepy as her remembering him. "You've not been around?"

"No." She waited for him to elaborate, but the boy simply took another drink without taking his eyes off her. For some reason his study of her made Becca feel self-conscious, uncomfortable with herself, oddly anxious for his approval.

"So…are you getting the bus back to campus later?" She realized a little too late how that sounded, blushed, but he didn't seem to notice. The slightest frown creased his smooth brow.

"What bus?"

"Didn't you hear? Hamish's brother's organized a bus to take people back so there aren't any accidents. Not like last time," she added more quietly, felt her stomach twist again at the memory.

"I hadn't heard." His eyes abruptly darkened and he straightened.

"Almost everyone's getting it, but there'll probably be room for you if you want to drink," Becca suggested. "They're leaving their cars here."

"I might. Thank you." His gaze flickered over his shoulder and he inclined his head in a strangely polite, peculiarly old-fashioned gesture. "I won't keep you." The boy slipped past her and was gone.

Confused at his sudden departure, Becca turned to watch him go but he had already disappeared in the crowd; instead she saw Matt, obviously searching for somebody, and she felt a surge of disappointment. Her best friend, the boy she was pretty certain she was in love with, was looking for a girl; the boy she'd felt strongly attracted to had vanished somewhere, and she didn't even know his name.

With a sigh she slipped into the crowd before Matt could catch sight of her; before she would have to see his absent-minded smile as his gaze slide sideways past her, acknowledging her but not really _seeing_ her. First and foremost the best friend; second, if at all, the girl.

* * *

The party had lost its sparkle for Becca. She danced some, chatted and flirted a bit with people she knew and people she didn't, but she kept catching herself in the act of scanning the room for either one of the two boys she wanted to see most.

But both Matt and the soda boy – for lack of any other name to call him – had disappeared. Becca wandered absent-mindedly from room to room, trying to convince herself that she wasn't really looking for them; she was simply circulating, seeing who was there. Even so, neither appeared to be anywhere she looked; perhaps, she reasoned with herself, Matt had found a girl and gone home early. And Soda Boy – dammit, she should have asked his name! – would have definitely been snapped up. He had been so gorgeous…

"Dance with me?" Somebody tumbled against her, slurred the words even as his hands sought out her hips, tried to drag her closer. From the size of his pupils, he was on something Becca didn't want to consider and she pushed him away.

"No thanks. Dance with her." He latched himself onto the girl she shoved him towards and Becca made good her escape, weaving her way through the writhing bodies to the open door for some fresh air. She pulled her phone out of her pocket, flipped it open and sighed; it was still only eleven, barely five minutes since she last checked. There wasn't really anybody else outside, because the air was cool and it was still early enough for people to be enjoying the music and atmosphere in the house.

Deciding not to sit down on the doorstep on the principle that only God knew whether anybody had already thrown up in the shadows, Becca leant back instead against the wall and took a drink from her bottle of soda. She felt her thoughts drift to the nameless boy once more; remembered the intensity of his dark eyes on hers, the queer thrill that had run through her from his touch on her fingers. Then she chided herself from being ridiculous.

The girl tilted her head back to glance up at the sky, orange-tinted from the road lamps, wondered whether to go back inside or not. Maybe she'd have a couple of drinks, catch the bus back to campus rather than driving; she was thinking too much tonight, and she just wanted to let go of her worries and have fun.

"Becca." Matt's voice ghosting over the music, very close to her ear, and she jumped, turning to face him in the dim yellow light that filtered through the doorway.

"Jesus, Matt, you scared me. What are you doing? Found anybody yet?" She forced her tone to remain light, startled herself in the effort. Since when had she been so territorial over him?

"Becca, baby, I've been looking for you." His voice was husky as he slid his arms about her waist, drew her body against his. She was surprised, but didn't resist, smiling up at him through the darkness. Her heart skipped seeing him.

"I thought you weren't going to drink tonight."

"I haven't drunk at all." She couldn't smell any alcohol on him as he bent his head to nibble along her throat. "I just want _you_ tonight, Becca." The ministrations of his lips had her arching her neck back, even as his hands slipped into the back pockets of her shorts and pushed her hips up even further against him. "Becca, baby –" His mouth kissed its way up to hers, hovered a moment to let her choose.

She hesitated just a second, and that hesitation had her confused. She wasn't going to look for Soda Boy; she'd barely seen him, spoken to him for two minutes. And this was _Matt_. That decided her. Instant attraction for a boy she'd met over a box of soda wasn't going to have her bailing on her best friend, however much that single feeling nagged her that she had to get over Matt, move on.

Closing her eyes, she laid her palms flat against his chest, let them slide upwards to lace themselves behind his neck, tugging him closer. He needed no more encouragement, swooping down to plunder her mouth and steal her breath from her even as he backed her up against the wall, bracing himself with one hand beside her head. The other floated down to her thigh, hitched her leg up so that it wrapped around his hip as his fingers slid up to tease the hem of her shorts.

"Do you want to stay?" He broke the kiss, moving back bare millimeters so that they could still taste each other.

"Hell, no," she breathed against him, leaning forward again to press her body against his chest, tug at his lower lips with her teeth.

"Are you driving or am I, baby?"

"You haven't been drinking, have you?" She dipped her head down, lips caressing the side of his neck as his breath hitched sharply, hands tightening slightly.

"No."

"Let's go, then." He released her, took her hand and drew her along with him to his car. Becca didn't glance back; didn't see the silhouetted figure in the upstairs window of Hamish's house.

Didn't see the flicker of flame that reflected in his red eyes as he stared after them.

* * *

**A/N: Please review! love, Jude ;)**


	4. Rerun

**Rerun**

_Grey skies over and storm clouds sway  
Lying alone and wasting the day  
Listening for footfalls, impatiently wait  
Twilight is falling when you arrive late  
But I don't care because now you're here  
And in your smile cares disappear  
Wherever you touch me feels so right  
I want to be with you, baby, tonight._

_-'Want to be With You', Becca Ryan and Matt Gallagher-_

* * *

Becca couldn't help but glance nervously at the speedometer as the car sped along the highway back towards campus. Matt noticed her stare, lifted a hand to rest gently on her bare thigh.

"It's okay, baby. I know what I'm doing, I haven't drunk at all."

"I know."

She sat and watched the lights racing by, laid her hand over his to trace patterns on his skin. The sky – a peculiar shade of orange – reminded her of fire, and she swallowed. Matt glanced over briefly. "It's going to rain, baby. Good job the party's inside." As if the spoken words were a charm, fat drops of rain began to fall from the sky, increasing rapidly in speed and volume. The _swish, swish_ of the wipers melded with the purr of the engine and Becca lay back in her seat with her eyes closed, concentrating on the feel of Matt's skin against hers to fend away the worries which continued to plague her. Sensing her mood, the boy murmured, "You want some music on, Becca?"

"Sure." His hand left her leg and she heard him push a CD into the player, heard the music start; couldn't help the smile that tugged at her lips as she recognized the track. Matt knew her so well; he could always make her feel better. "You keep this CD in your car?"

"Why not?" She opened her eyes in time to see his grin. The music was a recording of _their _band; the song that was playing, one the two of them had written, and Becca's own voice filled the car that flew through the dark and the rain.

_Grey clouds over and storm clouds sway,_ the music sang. _Lying alone and wasting the day._ "Listening for footfalls, impatiently wait," the two grinned at one another as Becca harmonized with herself. "Twilight is falling when you arrive late."

Matt indicated to turn into campus, picked up the next phrase smoothly so that his voice melded with hers. "But I don't care because now you're here, and in your smile cares disappear."

"Wherever you touch me feels so right." Becca's eyes met the boy's as he switched off the engine, the music stopping as both started to lean towards each other.

"I want to be with you, baby, tonight." He finished the song with his lips against hers.

She let him hang there for a moment longer before drawing back abruptly, a smile pulling at the lips he wanted to kiss. "Not in the car," she teased as he groaned. "Come on, Matt." And she opened the door, stepped out with a gasp into the cold rain

Warm hands caught her about her waist and spun her soft body against his harder, more muscular form; everywhere they touched fires sparked under her skin. Those hands skimmed up her sides, a chuckle rumbling in Matt's throat at the sudden catch in Becca's breath, at the way she gripped suddenly at his shoulders for balance. "But it's raining outside, baby," he brought his mouth down to whisper huskily in her ear, and because his mouth was there anyway caught her earlobe between his teeth, nibbled.

"I hadn't noticed." The way she gasped the words slightly ruined the caustic effect. "Can we please go inside? I'm getting wet." That laugh sounded in her ear again, and she rolled her eyes even though he couldn't see it; trust him to pick up on the unintended innuendo. "I'll get you for that, Matthew Gallagher."

"Is that a threat or a promise, Becca Ryan?" he mocked her, ran his hands through her already dripping hair. And then his head dipped down so that his mouth met hers again, tongues tangling together and his lips curving into a smile as she moaned into his mouth, incapable of answering.

Somehow they made it upstairs to Becca's dorm, Matt reaching behind the girl to turn the lock as he pressed her up against the door. Her hands twisted desperately in his hair, melding their mouths together as if either of them had any intention of trying to let go. _His_ hands caught her as her feet left the floor, shoes abandoned as her legs wound about his waist. Matt stumbled back to the bed, pulling Becca down on top of him and finally releasing her from the kiss.

Her dark, wet hair swept down like a curtain around their faces as Becca balanced herself with one hand on either side of his head. His gaze met hers, filled with shadows that made them impossible to read, and for a moment she could only smile down at him with desire plain in her grey eyes. His hands caught at her waist again, slid his thumbs down to graze her hipbones before tugging lightly at the top of her shorts. Becca gasped as one hand continued tracing the line of her hip down while the other slipped into the pocket, drew out her cellphone. "Switch it off this time, baby?" he murmured huskily.

Her only reply was a breathless laugh as she leaned in closer to press a kiss to the hollow of his throat where his heart beat loudly, that movement pressing her body down onto his so the rising heat between them only smouldered more fiercely.

Unable to bear it, Matt rolled them both over, pinning Becca's wrists above her head with one hand and covering her mouth with his to swallow the gasp of surprise as his fingers ran lingeringly down her side, along her bare thigh to hook his hand behind her knee, pull her leg – cold drops of rain still clinging to her skin – up over his hip. Tearing his mouth away from hers, he swept his tongue gently over her throat, teasing the neckline of her top and drifting just along the curve that her bra cup didn't quite cover.

His name a sigh on her lips, Becca raised her other leg to where he had lifted the first one, running her bare foot along the back of his leg, arched her body against his. She spread her fingers over Matt's lower stomach to elicit a sharp gasp from him, slipped a hand into the pocket of his jeans to remove his cellphone. "Nobody's going to ring either of us tonight, baby," she breathed into his ear.

* * *

Because neither of them exactly got to sleep until around three, and it was the weekend, they were still asleep at ten; Matt on his back with his arm around Becca who was snuggled close into his side, head on his shoulder. They would probably have stayed like that a good few hours longer had Jen not burst loudly into the room, making Matt shoot bolt upright and dislodging Becca whose eyes flew open immediately. She stared at her friend in sleepy bewilderment, automatically tugging the quilt higher around her.

"Becca! Matt!" Jen flung herself on the foot of the bed, dark shadows standing out under red-rimmed eyes in a chalk-white face. Neither of the other two noticed her state at this point.

"I swear I locked the door!" Matt groaned.

"She's got a key." Becca winced, flung a hand across her eyes. "Why the hell did I give her a key?"

"Your fucking phones were switched off. Your phones…" She swallowed. "Becca, listen to me –"

"Fuck off, Jen. And I mean that in the nicest way." Becca buried her face in Matt's shoulder for a second, his arm sliding around her, before looking back at her friend. "Unless this is a way of getting back at me for waking _you_ up last party time, I thought you were over that –"

"Becca. Shut up." Both of them looked at her, for the first time noting her smudged make-up, the fact that she was still in last night's clothes, her trembling lower lip. "There's been another fire."

All colour washed out of Becca's face; Matt's arm tightened convulsively around her and for a long moment there was silence. "Where?" he asked at last, voice flat. "When?"

"Hamish's house. Shit, the whole house, about midnight. It started earlier, but that's when it really went –"

Becca reached out a hand to her friend, drew her in closer for a hug – it would have been awkward in any other situation, but both girls were trembling too hard to care. After only a moment's hesitation, Matt wrapped his own arms around both of them, but he only pressed a kiss to Becca's hair. The three of them clung to each other for a long while, seeking and receiving mute comfort.

It was Becca who broke the hug, drawing back slightly but not removing her hand from Jen's. "Who?" she whispered.

"Not Hamish. It started upstairs, they think…Rom and Harry …" Becca closed her eyes, her hand clutching Matt's as a strangled sound escaped his throat. Rom – the girl was in Becca's class. Harry, her long-term boyfriend, on Matt's soccer team. _Had been._ "And then Hamish's cousin Lucie, and the boy she was with. But they don't – can't –"

"Shit. Shit." The words tore themselves in a whimper from Becca's lips, her eyes squeezed closed as if by blocking out sight she could make it not happen. "No. No, _shit…_"

"Becca. Becca, baby." Matt's arms drew her in, held her against his chest as she sobbed.

"Jamie. Jamie was with Lucie. Jamie, Jamie…" her voice died away in a moan as Matt froze.

"Jamie." The boy shook his head violently. "_Jamie_."

"No. Jamie's okay, he drove back over with me and Dan this morning. Jamie's okay, Becca." Jen stared directly into her best friend's face. "He's okay." Becca nodded slowly, hesitantly, unable to disbelieve but with her heart still racing.

"Four more dead," Matt whispered. "Harry. Shit, _Harry_."

"Jamie's okay?" Becca repeated stupidly. "He's here?" Jen nodded, and Becca tried to scramble up. "I need to see. Need to check…"

"They're downstairs." Jen climbed off the bed, started towards the door. "You two get dressed and I'll tell them…" She stopped in the doorway, turned back with agonized eyes. "I didn't know where you were. I couldn't reach you. I thought…"

Becca's voice was hollow as she replied. "It wasn't us, Jen." Yet again, people had died but still they were okay. It hadn't been them, and once more the two girls' gazes met with that silent agony. _Thank God it wasn't us_. Jen nodded, tears welling up in her green eyes before turning to flee.

As soon as she had gone, Becca scrambled out of bed and began to grab the first clothes she could find, shimmying into her underwear and jeans as Matt silently sorted his own clothes from the tangle on the floor. Only when he had finished dressing did the boy look up; saw the tears that blurred Becca's grey eyes. He was across the room in two steps, gathering her against his chest to let her sob, but knew better than to say anything right then. The girl clung to him, face buried against his shoulder. "Is it wrong of me to be glad?" she whispered.

With one hand, Matt tilted her face up towards his. He knew what she meant; understood the cold relief that was flooding through his veins, relief that it hadn't been _them_. So much like last time; but the fire had missed them twice now. The boy crushed his mouth to hers, lips moving desperately together as if in an attempt to reaffirm their life, vitality. "We're alive, Becca," he replied after pulling back at last. And then he added, with a sentiment so much like Jen's of three months ago that a shiver ran up Becca's spine, "It wasn't us."

The others were waiting downstairs when they appeared in the doorway. Becca let go of Matt's hand and went straight to Jamie, flung her arms about the surprised boy's neck.

"You're all right," she murmured. "When I heard – Lucie –" His arms slipped around her waist awkwardly for a moment, until she let go and scanned the room to see who was there. Just Jen, Dan and Jamie. "Where are the others?"

"Chris and Candy went back home. Hannah had to go to hospital with smoke inhalation issues, so Josh, Jack and Amy went with her." Amy was Jack's current girlfriend, an old friend of his sister's who had finally been introduced to Hannah's twin. "Everybody –" Dan's voice choked over the word, and he corrected that to, "The band's okay."

"What happened?" Matt asked quietly.

There was a long silence. "They don't know yet," Jen admitted at last. "They _do_ know that it started upstairs, and spread. Josh says Hannah had passed out on the stairs; he'd just gone to get the car keys from Jack, people started screaming about the fire. He actually ran back in to get her."

"Jesus," Becca swore softly. So they'd nearly lost Hannah too…

"Someone called 911, and there were about four firetrucks. Dozens of cops, rounding us all up. People from the news, cameras…the cops took witness statements from us all. It was absolute chaos, and then Jen realized neither of you were there." Dan squeezed his girlfriend's hand.

"We couldn't reach you on your phones, and no-one had seen you. We couldn't get near the house, so it was only when it started getting light we could see your car had gone…" Jen's fingers sought out Becca's. "Thank God you're okay, honey. For a moment I thought…"

The sentence was left hanging. They all knew what she'd thought.

Four more people dead. That made eight. Chloë, Cam, Chessie and Ken the first time. Harry, Rom, Lucie and some unknown boy the second. Two fires; Becca fought off her superstition that _these things come in threes_, but there was still a faint nag of uneasiness she couldn't ignore.

"It might be a good idea for you to phone the guys at the hospital," Jamie suggested. "Candy was stressing out, too."

"Sure." But right then nobody made a move. They sat like that for a while longer; Dan and Jen linked by their hands, Becca between Jen and Jamie with Matt just opposite her. Their eyes met, and they looked away quickly.

These things come in threes…

Third time lucky…third time _un_lucky.

Jesus, what was wrong with her?

* * *

**Please review to let me know what you think…love, Jude ;)**


	5. Just Ryan

**AN: This could **_**possibly**_** be construed as a filler chapter…I still think it's pretty important. I wouldn't have written it otherwise. The next party's in the chapter after this.**

**Hope you enjoy this – thanks to those who have reviewed, although I'd love to hear from more people.**

**Love, Jude ;)**

* * *

**Just Ryan **

Jen's party had been in June; Hamish's in September.

In October, Matt got a new girlfriend.

Sarifina Morales was a statuesque girl the same age as Becca and Matt – twenty-one – who had glossy hair a shade darker than Becca's falling in graceful curls just past her shoulder. Olive coloured skin, dark brown eyes and the slightest whisper of an accent, Sarifina was a dancer with a Spanish model for a mother and a father who 'owned vineyards'. She was beautiful, rich, graceful, clever and kind.

Jen hated her.

"Who does she think she is?" the girl hissed to Becca one day, watching Matt and Sarifina joking together on the stage during one of the breaks in band rehearsal. Jen had dropped by to watch, as she periodically did, and was horrified to see Sarifina there as well. "It's sickening."

"She's Matt's girlfriend," Becca shrugged calmly, without glancing up to the stage where Matt had his arms around Sarifina's waist from behind, was murmuring something in her ear to make her laugh.

Jen glowered at her best friend. "Let me know when Becca's back," she sniffed. "_Ryan_ gets on my nerves sometimes." And she stalked off, leaving Becca staring after her open-mouthed.

"Is Jen okay, Ryan?" Jamie leant towards her, fingers twitching absently over the strings of his bass guitar.

Becca rolled her eyes. "She just doesn't like Sarifina much."

Jamie's eyes narrowed and he pursed his lips as he glanced up at the couple on stage. "Sure, she's hot. But she's not as nice as you."

"What have _I_ got to do with anything, Jamie?" Becca was genuinely surprised by the amount of antipathy in Jamie's tone.

"I can't concentrate with _her_ here," Jack growled. "She keeps making those stupid gooey eyes at Matt, and then she claps every time we stop. Why can't she just fuck off?"

"Maybe we should have a no-girlfriends-at-rehearsals rule," Chris mused.

Becca stared at them. "Jesus, what's everyone's problem with her?"

There was definite incredulity in their gazes as they all looked at her. "You're honestly okay with _that_?" Jamie jerked his head towards the stage.

"It's nothing to do with me." All right, she wanted to cry watching them up there like that together. But Sarifina was Matt's girlfriend. Becca had never been that to him, so she had no _right_ to feel any resentment towards the girl.

"Jesus, Ryan," Jamie muttered under his breath. Before Becca could ask him just exactly what he meant by that, Chris interrupted.

"Matt, girlfriend time's over!" he called. "Get your ass over here for _rehearsal_." Sarifina trailed over after her boyfriend, and Chris scowled at the dancer. "If you don't mind, could you leave? You're not really helping." His tone made it clear that he wanted her to leave, whether she minded or not.

"Chris, what –" Matt began angrily, but Sarifina cut him off.

"It's okay, Matt. I'll go. She winked one dark, long lashed eye, tossed her dark hair with a laugh. "They're just jealous."

_That_ was the wrong thing to say. "We've got our own girls," Chris growled. "Candy –"

"And Amy," Jack glowered.

"And Ryan," Jamie finished. There was a silence, as Matt and Becca's mouths dropped open in synchronisation.

"You…Becca?" Matt choked.

"What? No!" Becca shook her head violently.

"Don't be ridiculous. She's like my baby sister, dude. That's sick. But she's still one of _our_ girls, right Ryan?"

"Um…"

"I'll just go." Sarifina sidled away. "See you later, Matt…have a good practice, guys. Bye, Becca."

"Can't you even be nice to her?" Matt exploded as soon as Sarifina left the room. "This is getting ridiculous. Can you –"

"Change subject," Becca interrupted. "Neutral." She was used to having to head off arguments between the boys; but this time she had the extra motive of not wanting to hear Matt defend Sarifina, state why she should be included.

"Right," Matt huffed. "Okay. Neutral."

"Neutral," Jamie agreed with an innocent smile. Matt glared at him.

"I was wondering…" Matt began. "This party in two weeks. Could we maybe not play 'Want to be With You' then? It's a bit…last time we played it – _we_ played it," he clarified, motioning between himself and Becca, "it –"

"Sure, sure. It made you two jump into bed with each other." Becca flushed at Jack's words. "Awkward much with dancer girl? Haven't you explained your whole 'kissing friends' theory to her yet?"

"No, actually," Matt spoke angrily. "And I was going to say that it was the night of Hamish's party. The fire. I just don't…" his words trailed off helplessly.

"Are you superstitious?" Jamie demanded disbelievingly. The atmosphere was returning more to normal with Sarifina's absence, with the 'neutral' topic.

"Of course not," Matt grinned easily, suddenly calm again. "It's bad luck to be superstitious."

"Idiot," Jack groaned.

"Maybe we could change the song," Becca ventured. The memory of the last fire had her heartbeat increasing, throat constricting. Four deaths twice…_these things come in threes…_

"Sure, then. What to?" Chris's brows drew together as he glanced at Matt. "Maybe Matt could sing this one. Hinder's 'Better than Me'?"

"The one that goes 'You deserve much better than me'?" Jamie added. He glanced at the sudden flash of agony on Becca's face – a flicker of pain so fast even she didn't realise it was there – and shook his head. "No." His lips twisted up into a sneer. "Avril Lavigne's 'Girlfriend'? 'I don't like your girlfriend…'"

"Shut up, Jamie." Matt's eyes darkened.

"Even better," Jack muttered. "That song 'I know your girlfriend hates me'."

"Except we'd have to change it to 'I know your bandmates hate me'," Matt retorted. "Fuck you guys." And he stormed off towards the door.

"Assholes!" Becca snarled before darting off after him. "Grow up by the time I get back," she snapped over her shoulder.

He was already stalking down the sidewalk, and Becca could see by the set of his shoulders that he was furious. "Matt! Matt, wait up!" she called, hurrying after him, but he wouldn't stop, wouldn't turn to look back at her. "Matt." The girl slid to a stop just in front of him, slammed a hand in the centre of his chest to stop him from simply carrying on straight past her. He stubbornly refused to meet her eyes, his furious gaze fixed instead on a point somewhere above her head.

"_Matt_." She just stood there until his eyes flickered down in irritated acknowledgment, the normally warm chocolate brown suddenly darkly angry.

"What? What do you want, _Ryan_?" She flinched as he practically spat out her name. "Why don't you just go back to your precious band and keep on thinking of ways to make fun of me?"

"You think I had something to do with that?" It wasn't really a question. "Well thanks, Matt. It's good to know what you really think of me." Becca spun back around, face flushed with anger, to return to the rehearsal without him. She was so _mad_ at him – and she heard him swear under his breath from behind her as he caught her hand.

"Becca, baby, don't. I didn't mean it, I'm –" Their eyes met, hers incredulous and flashing sparks, and he flushed red. "I mean…_Ryan._ I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take it out on you."

The sickening weight in her stomach wouldn't let her smile. Ryan. Of course he meant Ryan. But that slip of the tongue – calling her Becca, calling her baby – had betrayed the confusion that they were both feeling. Their friendship, or whatever you could call it, was getting too complicated to just classify between _Becca _and _Ryan_, and the girl knew that they were approaching the point at which something had to change. Something was going to give and it wasn't going to be pleasant for either of them – but worst of all for Becca, because she loved him.

"They're idiots," she replied softly. He was still holding her hand, and for some reason Becca was uncomfortably reminded of how Soda Boy's fingers had felt around hers. She cursed herself for that memory; she hadn't seen him since the party last month. Nobody else really remembered him, and it was as if he'd disappeared off the face of the planet – again. At least she knew he hadn't been killed in the fire. That had been Graham White, a boy majoring in business studies she'd barely known. "They need to get over themselves," Becca added, tearing her mind away from the memories of that night and back to the situation at hand.

"I shouldn't have said Sari could come to the rehearsal," Matt sighed. "I know they don't like her much."

Becca didn't say anything. What _could_ she say?

"I guess they're pissed that –" He stopped suddenly, his dark eyes on hers. Becca lowered her gaze quickly, not needing to see his expression to know what he meant and not wanting to see the concern, the pity. She didn't want Matt to pity her; she didn't want him to know what he meant to her.

"I think we confused them," she replied more cheerfully than she felt to hide the ache in her heart. "They never did understand the whole 'kissing friends' thing." _Maybe I didn't either,_ she added. "You heard what Jamie said, I'm their honorary little sister and I'm guessing they keep thinking that you're screwing me over." Her laugh held none of the bitterness she felt, because she had to hide it. For Matt, for her own sanity.

"Becca…Ryan…" Her eyes leapt up involuntarily to meet his, to see the agony in them, and she cut him off.

"Matt, if you're going to say you're sorry, don't," she told him with mock cheerfulness. "She's your girlfriend. I haven't spoken to her that much, but she seems okay. And I'll talk to the others, make sure they don't fuck it up for you."

"Thanks. Are you –"

She couldn't bear to hear the words she knew he was going to say. Knew him so well she could predict what he was going to say sometimes, but at other times she could never tell what he was going to do. "Don't _worry,_ Matt. It's not like I'm your ex or anything." She was perfectly clear on the fact that they had never been, would never be, together, although that didn't stop her fingers drifting unconsciously up to rub over the spot on her neck where he had marked her last time they'd slept together. He'd never done that before, never left any physical mark of their being together. It had long faded now; along with her momentary hope that he had perhaps wanted others to know that she was _his_.

"Thanks for being here, Ryan." His arms drew her into a hug and she rested her cheek against his chest momentarily, revelling in the close contact even though she knew it didn't mean the same to him. She was Ryan; just Ryan.

"I'm always here, Matt." She barely managed to keep the bitterness out of her tone, must have succeeded because he chuckled, reaching up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she looked up at him.

"That's good to know, Becca. You'll always like me, then?" She was imagining the note of self-mocking in his tone, imagining that his arms tightened around her and that his dark eyes were pleading with hers as though beseeching her to say otherwise.

"You're wrong about that. I _hate _you." He let out a throaty chuckle, and since she was there anyway pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose.

He didn't know how truthful she was being. She loved him, but there were times when she hated what he could do to her, hated that he never seemed to see the effect of his actions. Like inadvertently calling her Becca when it didn't mean anything more to him than _Ryan_.

She wanted, more than anything, to move on, to stop feeling like she was forever hanging around waiting for him to notice her, waiting for him to need her as she needed him.

"Yeah, thanks. I love you too, Becca." There he went again with the _Becca_. His total nonchalance as to how she was feeling, how much it tortured her to hear him say those words and know that his love was purely in the platonic sense, that he had a girlfriend. She hated him, but nothing in the world would make her pull away from his arms, reject whatever crumbs of him she could take.

She was such a masochist.

"Back to rehearsal, then? Or do you just want to blow this one?"

"I'll come." Their hands linked with easy friendship, her fingers curling around his in return automatically. "Sorry for being such a jerk. I'll play whatever Goddamn song they want me to."

"No." Damn it, she might hate him sometimes but there was no way she could watch him suffer. Masochistic, maybe, but she wasn't a sadist – particularly when it came to Matt. "We'll think of something, they were way out of line."

"'I know your bandmates hate me…'" Matt sang in mock-soprano, and Becca giggled.

"Not that," she told him firmly. "It's a good song and all, but it's not the sort of thing I'd sing."

"Sure, got to listen to the lead singer." Matt grinned down at her. "Know any songs we all like that you'd want to sing?"

She couldn't help but smile back at him. Walking hand in hand, smiling at each other, she knew how they must look to outsiders. "I was thinking maybe that Bon Jovi song. 'It's my life'…?"

Matt nodded his approval. "It's a good song."

"It's my life, it's now or never," they sang together as the pair of them made their way back into the room where the rest of the band waited, voices melding together with the ease of long practice. "I ain't gonna live forever…"

* * *

**I do not own the songs or lyrics to the following songs mentioned in this chapter: 'Better Than Me' (Hinder), 'Girlfriend' (Avril Lavigne), 'I know your girlfriend hates me' (Annie), 'It's My Life' (Bon Jovi).**

**Please review ! Love, Jude ;)**

**P.S. The next chapter's called 'Third Time (Un)Lucky'…and things definitely start getting interesting.**


	6. Third Time UnLucky

**A/N: So, so sorry for the ridiculously long wait for this! I've had so much school stuff to do...essays really aren't fun. I promise the next chapter won't take as long!**

**On a brighter note, thank you to my lovely reviewers...you're great, and like I said, I'm sorry! Also, to the people who read/voted for my story 'Prom Night Algebra' in Jayeliwood's contest, I really appreciate it! If you haven't read that, go check it out – after reading and reviewing this!**

**Anyway, here we go...hope you enjoy. Love, Jude ;) x**

**P.S. I don't know if American universities actually have student unions...British ones do, so let's assume they do exist. ;) x**

* * *

**Third Time (Un)Lucky**

"So what's this party for anyway?" Jen asked as she leant in towards the mirror to apply her mascara. "I know it's at the union, but otherwise…?"

"I'm not actually sure," Becca confessed as she wriggled her way into a pair of black jeans that hugged her legs. "Chris would probably know, he's the one they approached to ask for our band. It's something to do with the student union, I guess…and I think they're being extra careful at the moment. I think they're trying to cut down on off-campus parties."

"Don't want to lose any more students." Jen's laugh was humourless. "It's great they asked you to play though, honey. You're going to be amazing."

"Hope so." Becca twisted around to view her outfit from another angle, the pale grey top flaring out slightly as she spun before settling back to hug her curves. "We did get more rehearsing done after Sarifina stopped coming…"

Jen snorted her disapproval of Matt's girlfriend. "Why the hell are you so nice to her? You looked incredibly cosy last night with your heads together chatting. What were you talking about, anyway?"

"Be nice, Jen. She's actually okay." Becca reached for a hairbrush. "She asked for my help organising something for Matt's birthday next week, she wanted to have a bunch of people out to dinner but she didn't know where to go, who to invite…"

"So she asked you." One of Jen's eyebrows rose infinitesimally.

"Luckily. She was going to book a Chinese restaurant."

Jen rolled her eyes. "And the problem with that would be…?"

"Matt hates Chinese food." Becca winced as she tugged the hairbrush through a tangle. "Everyone knows that."

"Or not. So who's invited?" Jen wondered if Becca would ever realize just how much like a girlfriend to Matt she acted – knowing favourite foods, restaurants, paying attention to every detail. Probably not.

"The whole band plus girlfriends, you and Dan, Hannah and Josh. Twelve of us, if everybody can make it. No, leave your hair down, it looks amazing." Jen rolled her eyes but obeyed.

"It's such a pain though." She turned, bright green eyes roaming up and down over her best friend critically. "You look stunning, honey. Dressing to impress anybody in particular?"

"No. _No_! Jen, quit that." Becca brought up her hands to cover flushing cheeks as her friend simply lifted her eyebrows. "Maybe I just want to look nice."

"What, in case you bump into Soda Boy again? That's it, isn't it?" Jen exclaimed with incredulous glee as Becca only flushed redder, turning quickly away under the guise of grabbing her jacket. "Don't be embarrassed, honey, I think it's great! No matter what you say about you and Matt, it's not good for you to keep hanging around _just in case_ he needs you. I'm your best friend, Becca," she added gently, cutting off the girl who opened her mouth to object. "I know."

Becca lowered her head in defeat, shining chestnut hair curling down to curtain her face. "I don't know what to do, Jen," she admitted quietly. "I think –"

"Go out and have fun, Becca," Jen told her firmly. "I can tell you like this Soda Boy, even if you've only spoken to him once. If Matt never gets his act together and admits to himself how he feels about you, all I can say is it's his loss."

"Thanks, Jen," Becca whispered. She lifted her grey eyes to meet Jen's gaze. "But I'm not going to do anything just for the sake of it. Come on, we need to get going."

* * *

"Matt! Sarifina." Chris added the latter with perceptibly less enthusiasm, prompting a snigger from Jamie and a scowl from Matt.

"I'll just go help Brooke set up." Sarifina flashed a nervous, model-worthy smile at Becca before quickly going to join one of the girls just going out the door carrying a crate of bottles.

"What did you have to talk to us about, Chris?" Becca leapt in without giving anyone else a chance to start an argument.

"Yeah…well, you know my cousin Ross? The one who works for that music company. Well – don't freak out, Ryan – but he's here tonight and he said he's going to film us performing, show it round his work –"

"Dude, are you serious?" Jack looked incredulous. "That's _awesome_!" He high-fived Matt, who was grinning.

"Jesus. Wow." Becca swallowed. "And you couldn't have given us any more warning, Chris?"

"You'd have only freaked if you'd known," the older boy grinned. "You look great, Ryan. There's nothing to worry about."

Becca turned a glower on him. "Patronising much, Chris? But Jesus, seriously…"

"Don't stress about it, baby sister," Jack teased her. "No pressure or anything, but if we do well tonight…"

He left it hanging, because he didn't need to finish. Do well and impress some music big-shots – hell, impress _one_ music big-shot – and a whole host of opportunities would be laid out at their feet. Sponsorship, concerts…dare they even hope for a recording contract, tours, fame and fortune?

"Yeah, no pressure on anyone," Matt grinned. "Just don't fuck it up."

"Thanks a bunch for the vote of confidence, Matt." Jamie playfully drove his fist into his friend's shoulder. "Don't scare our baby sister."

"Would you guys stop that?" Becca complained. "What's with it anyway? Since when did I become your _baby sister_?" She intercepted the glance Chris, Jamie and Jack threw between them and then at Matt. "Oh, for God's sake. Grow up, will you?"

"We're doing our best." Jamie tried to look meek, but it backfired on him and only earned a sharp jab to the arm from the girl. "Because you're my baby sister, I'll let that pass," he pouted.

"Why do we put up with him again?" Becca rolled her eyes.

"Because he doesn't entirely suck at bass." Ross McMullen – tall, brown-haired, cousin to Chris and Dan – slipped easily into the conversation, appearing behind Chris and resting a casual arm about Becca's shoulder. She was probably the only one who didn't notice Matt suddenly bristle, instead smiling up at Ross oblivious to the waves of anger rolling abruptly from her best friend.

"So I'm guessing Chris has just dropped the news on you, right?" Ross grinned at his younger cousin. "Don't worry, you guys are going to do great. We won't be staying the whole night –" he motioned to a couple of people behind him who were carrying their equipment in, "– so I'll get onto editing as soon as I can. Is that okay?"

"Sure. Hey, Ross, how did Chris talk you into doing this anyway?"

Ross grinned down at Becca. "I owed him a favour. No, you're pretty decent, I'm happy to do it. Not promising anything, though."

"'Pretty decent'?" Chris echoed his cousin with mock anger.

"All right, then. You guys are actually quite good, and Becca's not too bad either." He pulled her briefly into his side for a one-armed hug, and she rolled her eyes as she laughed. "I'd better help finish setting up. Just yell if you need anything."

"Do you need any help?" Jamie asked, eagerly eyeing the recording equipment.

"Sure, if you want," Ross shrugged.

While Jamie went off with Ross, Chris and Jack began to organise the stage area, checking wires and plugs and all the other little details that would ensure the evening went off without a hitch. Becca and Matt, however, seemed to simultaneously hesitate, half turning towards each other before the girl glanced away again quickly. An awkward moment entirely uncharacteristic of their friendship; and Becca would perhaps have just let it slide had Matt not placed a hand on her arm, so that she automatically turned back to look at him.

"Be careful tonight, Becca, won't you?" His eyes held a sort of queer earnestness that she couldn't meet for more than a few seconds.

"Jesus, Matt, it's not like this is the first party I've ever been to."

"I know." He paused, and when he spoke again his tone was lighter. "So, looking forward to playing?"

The odd awkwardness melted away as they helped each other set up, slightly apart from the others while they talked and teased each other with an easy freeness which had been missing for some time, since the presence of his girlfriend had by necessity inserted some distance between them. Unspoken lay Matt's concern for her; sure, Becca was hardly new to the party scene, but for some reason this felt different. He had Sarifina; he couldn't, as was his wont whether she knew it or not, keep half an eye on Becca to make sure she was all right. And another taboo subject between them was the unease both felt concerning _this _party – the one following two with violently fatal ends. Becca had voiced, just once, the curious superstition of _these things come in threes_, but once had been enough. The unacknowledged tension hummed around them as they stood to take a final glance about the stage area to make sure everything was in place, as other people began to drift in and the sky outside darkened.

Becca and Matt's conversation finally stilled, words fading into quiet so that the noise and bustle of the rest of the room began to intrude upon what had been, until then, a world containing only the two of them. Wordlessly, in a gesture as comfortable and familiar as their friendship, Matt reached out to draw Becca into his side where she fitted perfectly with her head resting slightly on his shoulder. "How are you?" he asked quietly.

She twisted her head up to look at him. "I'm fine," she replied. "What about you, Matt? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he lied. And he dipped his head, just a little, to press a kiss to her temple. "I've missed you, Becca," Matt told her softly. "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too." But her heart was aching, because she _knew_ he couldn't mean it in the same way that she did.

From the doorway, Sarifina paused; looked up at them on the stage together, the boy with his arm around the girl's waist to hold her nestled close. Her lips pursed in their model-worthy pout, her expressive dark eyes slightly narrowed as she studied the scene, and her mass of shining dark hair swung over one shoulder as she spun on her heel and slipped back outside.

* * *

The band wasn't needed straight away, so the boys immediately vanished in order to find their respective girlfriends and some sort of drink. Becca, however, was waylaid by Jen, who dragged her not-unwilling friend into the centre of the already crowded dance floor.

"Where's Dan?" Becca called over the blaring music.

"Can't a girl dance with her best friend?" Jen replied innocently. "All right, he went to buy me a drink," she admitted to Becca's raised eyebrow. "But come on, let's make everyone jealous!"

Becca might not have been as good as Jen at dancing, might not have prettiest girl there, but the pair of them still managed to attract enough attention that Dan – returning faithfully with a drink for Jen – scowled to see the boys surrounding them. His arrival coincided with the end of a song and Becca, laughing, hugged her best friend tightly. "I might see you later. If not, tomorrow, and remember to call me!"

"Only if you don't first, honey. Love you." Jen took the drink from Dan, slipped her hand around his waist contentedly as he glowered at the boys eyeing her. "Be careful!" she yelled after Becca, but her words were swallowed up in the music and the girl was already gone.

Becca bought a drink from the bar, leant back against the wall to survey the room. A light touch on her arm had her starting and she spun around to face Matt. "Jesus, Matt, don't creep up on me like that!"

"I'm sorry you didn't hear me over the music," he commented wryly. "Nice dancing, by the way. And I came to tell you, we're on in twenty."

"'Kay, thanks Matt." She took a swig from her bottle. "Where's Sarifina?"

The boy's brows drew together in a frown barely perceptible in the light. "I don't know where she vanished to. If you see her..."

"Sure. Maybe she's over on the couches? I saw Brooke heading that way about five minutes ago." Determined to enjoy herself, determined not to long after a boy who didn't want her, Becca grinned brightly. "Hey, I'm just going to say hi to Hamish. I'll see you in twenty, then."

The warning to _take care_ died on Matt's lips as he watched her walk off, hips swaying in time to the music. He had to fight a strange, overwhelming urge to hurry after her, to stay by her side all night and make sure she came to no harm, because there was an uneasy feeling which wouldn't quite go away, an uncertainty about this evening that he couldn't interpret. With a sigh inaudible above the music, Matt turned away, turned to look for Sarifina. He didn't know what to do, because his girlfriend wasn't the one he wanted to spend the party with, not the one whose very smile gave him butterflies in his stomach. There was a girl who confused him, bewildered his emotions; and yet not being near her hurt. But she wasn't his girlfriend.

Becca headed towards Hamish without looking back to Matt. Halfway there, however, a cool breeze swept across her cheek from the suddenly opened doorway; a movement from the corner of her eye captured her attention, and Becca threw a brief glance over in that direction, ready to automatically catalogue the new arrival.

She froze as her gaze met a strangely familiar pair of dark eyes.

It was _him_. It was Soda Boy.

He reached up to brush that same dark blonde hair out of his eyes, the coloured lights glinting to momentarily colour them red in a face to which her memories had not served full justice. Seemingly even more gorgeous than before, a guy for whom modelling agencies would contemptuously throw aside their best in favour of. Becca's eyes skimmed down his body, noting how his dark shirt contrasted with his pale marble skin – why was tan fashionable, anyway? – and how his perfectly fitted jeans hung low on his hips...

Her eyes slid back up, almost guiltily, to find those lips twisting slightly at one side in a small smile. Becca's heartbeat quickened, and she blushed; she could have almost sworn in that moment that he suddenly froze, but in a split-second she made her decision and diverted her course towards Hamish so that she headed for the door instead.

She was still a few steps from him when he took one sudden, graceful step back, holding the door open in a mute offer for her to precede him outside.

Without a second thought, she did so.

* * *

**A/N: Please, please review for me! Love Jude ;) x**


	7. Broken Melody

**AN: I'm sorry this has taken so ridiculously long. RL and writer's block got in the way - thanks to Brooklyn10 for chivvying me along!** **Hopefully (fingers crossed) the next one won't take so long, as I'm nearly on Christmas break.** **Hope you like this and please review! Love Jude ;) x**

* * *

**Last chapter:**

_She froze as her gaze met a strangely familiar pair of dark eyes._

_It was __him. It was Soda Boy._

_He reached up to brush that same dark blonde hair out of his eyes, the coloured lights glinting to momentarily colour them red in a face to which her memories had not served full justice. Seemingly even more gorgeous than before, a guy for whom modelling agencies would contemptuously throw aside their best in favour of. Becca's eyes skimmed down his body, noting how his dark shirt contrasted with his pale marble skin – why was tan fashionable, anyway? – and how his perfectly fitted jeans hung low on his hips..._

_Her eyes slid back up, almost guiltily, to find those lips twisting slightly at one side in a small smile. Becca's heartbeat quickened, and she blushed; she could have almost sworn in that moment that he suddenly froze, but in a split-second she made her decision and diverted her course towards Hamish so that she headed for the door instead._

_She was still a few steps from him when he took one sudden, graceful step back, holding the door open in a mute offer for her to precede him outside._

_Without a second thought, she did so._

* * *

**Broken Melody**

The abrupt chill of the night hit her as she stepped out, and Becca paused to allow her eyes to get used to the sudden darkness as the door swung closed behind them. She could smell his scent in the air around her as she brushed past him, an electrifying jolt shooting through her arm as their skin briefly touched, and led him a little further from the union building so that the music faded and she could hear her own heartbeat throbbing in her ears. He moved so silently that she wasn't quite sure that he was following until she turned round and came, once more, face to face with him. That sweet, intoxicating scent she remembered washed over her so that her reflex reaction was to breathe in deeply.

Becca saw him smile, but she must have been imagining the queer note of bitterness in the slight twist of his mouth. "You haven't been around for a while," was the first thing she could think of to say.

"No," he replied softly.

A short silence. Music pulsed steadily in the background, while the wind whispered more quietly around them, tugging insistently at Becca's hair. She couldn't move her eyes from his.

"You remember me," he added at last.

Not sure whether that would appear to be a good thing or not, Becca hesitated before settling on the truth. "Yes." Her word was as simple as his first answer.

"Not a lot of people do." Something flickered in his eyes. "But you did before, as well."

Another pause. The silence was strangely comfortable, none of the awkwardness that Becca would have perhaps expected in such a bizarre situation.

"What's your name?" Becca asked at last.

"I'm Shade." His lips quirked slightly, as though at some intensely personal joke, but she was distracted from thinking about it any more by the delicious curve of that mouth.

"That's...unusual." She eyed him suspiciously, and Shade chuckled.

"No, really. That's my name."

"Shade." She tried it out, savouring it on her tongue before nodding once. "I'm Becca."

"Pleased to meet you." Again that strange, self-mocking twist to his lips which she couldn't place a reason for, and for a moment sent a flicker of uncertainty sweeping through her; for a second she considered turning away, going back to the familiarity of the loud music and where her friends gathered together in the warm light, away from this man whose dark, captivating eyes held secrets. Yet even as she considered it, Becca knew she would not walk away from him so easily.

There was a quiet again, broken only by the insistent beat of the music which had somehow seemed to fade until there was nothing but him and her, her heartbeat thudding so loudly in her ears she was almost certain he could hear it; indeed, he lifted a finger to rest directly over the pulse in her neck. His touch, although feather-light, was enough to make her shiver as his finger – freezing from the chill of the night air – brushed across her skin, his eyes never leaving hers as she was unable to look away from him either.

Her breath caught in her throat as his fingers grazed lightly once, twice up and down her neck, as his head dipped down towards her –

And then, suddenly, faster than she could blink, he had pulled back, was standing a distance away from her with his hands caught in his hair so that his shirt rose up to reveal a sliver of his toned stomach, but it was the tortured expression his his face she saw as he turned.

"Too close," he murmured softly. "Too close..."

"What do you mean?" Becca asked him. "What's the matter, Shade?"

But he didn't answer.

"Are you all right?" she pressed worriedly, taking a slight step forward, but he flinched and she froze mid-step. "Shade..."

His eyes lifted to meet hers once more. "Amazing," he whispered. "I was so close to...and _you're_ worried about _me._"

"I don't understand."

Shade dragged his hands through his hair again, his frustration almost palpable. "It's nothing," he told her shortly.

"Fine." Irritated, confused, Becca half turned away, couldn't help but spin back round to face him. "Who are you, Shade?" she demanded. "Why are you here? Because nobody ever seems to know you, nobody remembers you." Her eyes sought out his, begging him for an explanation. "I don't even know why I care, but for some reason I _do_, and something tells me I shouldn't."

"Maybe you feel like you shouldn't for a reason," Shade murmured softly. "Maybe you should listen to that something."

Becca took a step closer, pleased when he didn't move away. "I very rarely do what's good for me," she replied just as quietly; saw his brow wrinkle into a frown.

"You should," he told her seriously. "I could be anyone – anything."

"You're sending out very mixed signals, you know," Becca told him. "You're telling me – what? – that I shouldn't have anything to do with you, and yet you were the one who spoke to me first." She held up a hand, and after a moment's hesitation he placed his in it. A shock ran between their conjoined fingers, Becca drawing a short, involuntary breath at the sensation, but Shade's eyes were shadowed and unreadable.

"You fascinate me." He spoke quietly enough that she had to strain her ears to hear, and Becca couldn't help thinking that she wasn't really meant to. "How could you not, when you do that?" He lifted their linked hands in a way that made her abruptly glad it was dark so he couldn't see her blush as she considered the electrifying shock. "You give every appearance of being sensible, and yet...well, you're here. I could be anyone," he said again. "I could be..."

"Promise you won't hurt me, then, and I'll believe you," she laughed.

He closed his eyes. "You shouldn't be here."

Becca felt an odd, sharp pang to her heart at Shade's rejection. If he didn't want her, what was he doing? "But I am."

"You're a sweet girl, Becca."

For some reason it struck her that he hadn't actually said her name before that moment. There was a note of resignation in his voice as he did say it, as if he'd made some sort of decision. Becca hoped that the decision didn't involve what was 'best' for her. "You don't know that," she contradicted him with a smile, her voice shaking.

"I do," he replied with a certainty to his tone which confused her.

There was a long pause in which Becca wasn't certain what to say. The music seemed to swell in volume to fill the quiet, the wind swirling around them to stir the girl's hair and caress her cheeks with fingers somehow warmer than the ones which still held her own. It was as if the wind was whispering in her ear, trying to give her a warning she couldn't quite hear, because the pulse of the music was just insistent enough that the voice of the wind died unheard. Music...

"Damn, I need to get back!" Becca's exclamation must have startled Shade, for he dropped her hand abruptly. "I'm meant to be playing soon..." She hesitated.

"Go on," Shade urged her.

"Will you be here...?"

Shade shook his head slowly. "I don't know."

"But why not?"

The wind ruffled through his hair, sent dancing shadows across his face so that it was impossible to see what emotion was written across it as he took her hand again. "_That's_ why. I like you, Becca."

"That should make it easier, then." She tried to smile, not quite able to manage it as her eyes met his earnestly.

He laughed, but it wasn't a happy sound, and he didn't say anything.

"Please, Shade."

He paused a moment longer, before lifting her hand to his lips and brushing a light kiss across her knuckles which sent a queer shiver down her spine. He held it there for a second more, eyes closed as he inhaled deeply with something akin to agony suddenly clear on his perfect features. "Goodbye, Becca."

"But..." For some reason tears leapt into her eyes.

"Go on." His cool fingers traced a path down her cheek. "You don't know me. Go back to your friends. Be safe."

"Shade, please."

"Go!" Suddenly harsh, he let go of her fingers and Becca stumbled back, blinking – but when she looked again, he had vanished into the darkness. She stood dumbly for a moment, unable to speak or move, before she turned quickly to go back inside, suddenly afraid of the night surrounding her as chills ran down her arms and the wind's unintelligible murmurs seemed all too suddenly menacing.

* * *

"Nice of you to join us, Ryan," Jamie teased as he gave her a hand up onto the stage. "I was about to come look for you."

"I was talking to someone," she apologized. "I forgot what time it was."

"Sure, _talking._" Jamie grinned. "I'll believe you, though, little sister. Thousands wouldn't." He peered at her more closely. "Are you okay, Ryan?"

"Of course I am. Why, don't I look fine?" Becca turned away, pretended to fuss with her reflection in the window, and sure enough Jamie backed right off.

"You look great, Ryan. You ready to sing for us?"

"Absolutely." She forced a smile, found it even harder as Matt appeared behind her with his guitar slung on its strap over his shoulder. "Did you find Sarifina then, Matt?"

He shook his head. "I don't know where she went. You didn't see her, did you Becca?"

She felt like screaming at him for calling her Becca, but she knew he'd only look at her with those wounded brown eyes and ask her what was wrong, so she didn't. "I'm sure she's around," she told him comfortingly. "She wouldn't miss watching you play."

All the feelings which Shade's presence had somehow held at bay came flooding back. The problem, Becca considered morosely, was that Sarifina was actually somebody she'd like to have as a friend – if she wasn't dating Matt. And _that_ was what the issue came down to in the end.

"Everybody set?" Chris's grin was wide as he jumped back onto the stage followed by his cousin. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah." Jack flashed his teeth nervously in an impression of a smile. "Always better with some alcohol."

"Yeah, well I hope you haven't drunk enough that you'll screw up," Chris growled.

Jack opened his mouth to retort, but Becca jumped in, sensing that with the nerves and tension the boys were more likely to fight. "I'm sure it'll be fine," she assured Chris. "Is everything organised, Ross?"

"Ready to go," he nodded. He lifted a small, hand-held camera and aimed it at them all with a grin. "Any final words?"

"Ross, don't be an idiot," Chris rolled his eyes. "Just...good luck, everyone. You feeling okay, Ryan?"

"Jesus, why does everyone keep asking _me_ that?" Becca complained laughingly, nonetheless fidgeting with her hair. "Just because I'm a girl –"

"You're a _girl_?" Jamie pretended to fall back in mock horror. "Well, in that case, how's about a good luck kiss?"

"And he wonders why he doesn't have a girlfriend," Jack laughed good-naturedly as Jamie grabbed Becca in a hug. He glanced sideways at Matt, who was glowering at the bassist. "Oh, lighten up, Matt," Jack muttered under his breath. "Ryan isn't your girl, remember?"

"I know you're nervous, but you'll be great," Jamie murmured in Becca's ear as he hugged her. "Love you, baby sister."

For some reason, Becca found herself clinging to her friend, the tears she'd held back before pricking at her eyes. At least the love she had for some of her bandmates was uncomplicated, and she couldn't have had better brothers in Jamie, Chris and Jack if they'd been related to her. "Thanks, Jamie. Love you too." He dropped a kiss to her forehead, chuckling at Matt's scowl.

"Any time, Ryan. I think you'd best go kiss the others, too, before Matt bites my head off."

Rolling her eyes, Becca obeyed, quickly going to hug the other boys and coming to Matt last with a sudden shy awkwardness. Her arms slipped around his waist, his over the top to meet in the small of her back, and her nose nestled – because that was where it reached – in the crook of his neck. Becca couldn't help but note how easily they fitted together, only a second before her mind added that he didn't smell as good as Shade.

Where had _that_ come from?

Distracted, Becca barely noticed as Matt pressed a kiss to the top of her head, didn't really hear the murmured, "Becca, baby," which he mumbled into her hair. Taking a deep breath, she stepped out onto the centre of the stage with the others as the lights died down, and the cheers rose, eyes scanning the crowd restlessly to find Jen who mouthed _good luck_ to her as she stood in Dan's arms.

Her eyes drifted on further as she took hold of the mic, and Becca froze as they met a dark gaze filled with shadows. She looked again, but Shade was gone; but Becca knew he was there, and she heard the opening beats of the song with satisfaction and a smile on her face.

* * *

**Please please review!** **Love Jude ;) x**


	8. Bloodstained Friendship

**AN: Merry Christmas to everyone! Well, for me it's over by about 2 hours...but I hope you all had a great day. I also hope you enjoy this chapter...please review! Thank you to those who commented on last chapter, you made me smile :) x**

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Bloodstained Friendship**

"That was _awesome_, honey!" Jen screamed over the cheers as she clung on to the edge of the stage to stop being pushed away by the crowd.

"I hope so." But Becca was grinning; she _knew _they'd done well. "Look, honey, I'll see you later, I'm going..."

"Found your soda boy, then?"

"I'll tell you about him tomorrow." Jen's smile only widened to match her friend's.

"All right. Promise me you'll keep your cell on, okay?" she called back as Dan dragged her off into the crowd.

"Becca." The smile dropped off Becca's face as she turned to face Matt, whose brow was wrinkled with the smallest frown – she might have missed it, if she didn't know him so well. "You were great, Ryan..."

There was something he wasn't saying. Suddenly angry at him – for ruining her post-performance high, for calling her Becca, for _being_ there – she straightened and faced him with arms folded across her chest defensively. "What do you want, Matt? If you've got something to say, just say it. We've been _friends_ long enough, haven't we?"

He stared at her, seemingly completely ignorant of anything he might have done to upset her, but the injury in his eyes only infuriated her more. "I –"

"_What_, Matt?"

"Becca, I –" She turned and stalked away from him, past their startled bandmates who exchanged worried glances, but Matt caught up, fingers closing around her wrist. "Goddamnit, talk to me, won't you?"

She twisted her arm loose of him, but remained where she was. "All right. What did you want to say?"

His lips tightened into a thin line. "Who's soda boy?"

One of Becca's eyebrows lifted, and she crossed her arms again to hide the blush. "How do you know about him?"

"Jen just said something now. Look, I don't think –"

"It's none of your business. You shouldn't have been eavesdropping, anyway."

"Of course it's my _business. _You're my –"

"I'm your _what_, Matt?"

He didn't reply, merely stared at her speechless while the music throbbed around them and neither was aware of anyone else. Inches apart, their eyes met and held; but Becca was the first one to break, tearing her gaze away so he wouldn't see the tears blurring her vision. Quietly, she added, "I won't be your whore, Matt."

He reeled back as if slapped. "You're not...I never..."

"Um, Ryan? Are you okay?" Jack looked almost nervous as he interrupted. "You were incredible, by the way, everyone's saying..." He glanced helplessly between his two friends. "Anyway, I brought you a drink..." The boy handed her a bottle which she took numbly.

"Thanks, Jack." She forced a smile which didn't quite reach her eyes. "You weren't too bad yourself."

"Thanks, Ryan." Jack shuffled uncomfortably, obviously not sure what to say. "Well...I need to go find Amy, she was waiting for me."

"Sure. I'll see you tomorrow. Well done!"

"See you, Jack." Matt's smile was about as genuine as Becca's.

Jack nodded curtly, his eyes growing steely as he looked at his friend. "Yeah. Look after our little sister."

"I don't _need_ to be looked after," Becca snapped as Jack disappeared into the crowd. "Not by you, not by anyone." She took an angry swig from her bottle, regardless that they would be playing again later. "Just leave me alone."

"I don't like you going off with this guy you don't know!" Matt replied hotly. "You can say it's none of my business, but it is because I –" He stopped abruptly, not entirely sure what he was going to say but knowing that he had to stem the flow of words. "Becca, baby –"

It was like a demon leapt up in her eyes as Becca rounded on him, furious. "Don't call me that!" she hissed. "Don't you _dare_ call me that."

Something akin to pain flashed across Matt's face, but neither noticed. "Ryan, then," he murmured. "But know that you have never, never, been my..._whore_."

The girl stared at him with massive eyes for a moment. "It's funny how things turn out, then," she whispered.

"Becca!" Matt called after her as she hurried away. "Bec – shit, _Ryan_!"

"Fuck off, Matt!" she replied angrily without turning. A couple of people turned, stared as she pushed past – her friend close on her heels – but both Matt and Becca ignored them as the boy stormed after her, catching up in the corridor to the bathrooms where the music was slightly quieter. Cornered, she stopped, not turning around; she could hear Matt moving behind her, but she couldn't look at him.

"I'm sorry." He spoke softly, but Becca still didn't look at him as he came round to face her.

"God, I'm so _stupid_." For sleeping with him, for falling in love with him, for sitting back and saying nothing – for letting this happen.

"No, you're not." He reached out to take her hand, but she recoiled.

"Don't touch me, Matt." Her voice was low, and she hated that it shook. "Just don't come near me."

Something in Matt snapped. "For God's sake, Becca..."

The girl turned on him, eyes bright with rage and unshed tears. "Don't _call_ me that! I'm Ryan. I'm one of the _guys_ in the band, so don't call me _Becca_." Her words hurt him, she could see by the pain which flickered in his face, but in that moment she didn't care. She wanted him to hurt as she was and yet hated that she was causing him pain. "I'm always here, Matt, like some sort of damn dog which you've had so long it's just become part of the furniture, and I won't be that, Matt, I won't! And now I meet someone I _like_, but God only knows why you're trying to ruin that for me too! I – don't _touch_ me, I said. Get away from me, Matt!"

"Let me _talk_, Becca!" He caught both of her hands, pinned them up above her head even as they curled helplessly into claws, the bottle she had still been clutching falling to smash on the floor. Matt barely flinched, the anger in his eyes making Becca freeze and she quickly looked down as he spoke quietly to her, voice full of barely contained fury. "Or _Ryan_, then. Is that what you really think of me? Have I _ever_ treated you like a whore, Ryan?" Rage vibrated in every word, and there was a raw violence in him which Becca could feel straining in his muscles, could see in his clenched jaw as he fought to control it.

"Let go of me, Matt."

"Have I?" he demanded.

Grey eyes met dark brown ones clouded with anger, so that Matt saw her fury and panic. "For God's sake, let go of me!" It was the tiny flash of fear that made him stop, made the anger cool as he realized what he was doing. Becca saw it drain out of him, leaving his eyes suddenly hopeless and full of grief. They stared at each other a moment longer before Matt let his best friend's hands slide out of his, stumbling back against the opposite wall and sinking down so he was crouched on the floor, suddenly so small and vulnerable.

"I'm sorry." He glanced up anxiously, tone cracking with concern. "Did I hurt you?"

"I'm fine." Her voice shook, but the fury and fear had been washed out of her. She stood absolutely still, looking down at him, before slowly sliding her back down the wall to mirror the boy. "Shit, Matt." Then, in an entirely different tone, "_Shit._"

She'd forgotten the broken glass scattered across the floor from where her bottle had smashed, was now staring at the blood oozing from the cut in her hand with open-mouthed astonishment. "What –" Matt began, but then all of the colour drained out of his face where anger had painted it and his eyes widened. "You're hurt. Shit, fuck, you're bleeding." He scrambled to his feet, flew across the distance between them to lift her upright and away from the broken glass. Her uninjured hand fluttered automatically to his shoulder to steady herself, while she cradled the other close while tears ran in silent rivulets down her cheeks. "It'll be all right, baby. I promise it'll be okay." Whether he was talking of her hand or of the situation the two of them were in was unclear but it didn't matter. "I'll go and get –"

"Don't leave me," Becca whimpered into his chest. "Don't go. I'll be all right in a minute."

"I'm still here, baby." He'd always be there, Matt thought bitterly. Despite Sarifina and the 'soda boy', whoever he was, he would _never_ be able to walk away from her.

"Thanks, Matt."

"But your hand..."

"Don't _fuss. _It'll only make me cry." The tears came harder and faster with this admission, even as Becca tried to smile.

"You deserve to be fussed over." With his arm around her, he helped her towards the girls' bathroom, following her in after only a moment's hesitation. "I'm sorry, Becca." Their eyes met in the mirror over the basin as she ran her bloody hand under the tap, gaze holding for a long moment. "I've been a...a..." he struggled for words.

"Asshole? Complete fucktard?" She turned to face him, laughing now as he hung his head, but it came out a little bitter and the hurt returned to her face all too soon. "I'm sorry for being so mad with you." Becca spoke in a small voice, looking and sounding abruptly vulnerable as she wrapped her arms around herself.

"No. No, baby, it's not your fault. I shouldn't have…I'm so stupid. I'm so, so sorry. I –"

"Stop it. It's not all _your_ fault, either. We're both utter fucking idiots." The girl looked back at their reflections in the mirror, let out a little groan which sounded a lot more like her normal self. "I've got blood all over my shirt! Damn..." She shook her head slowly, wiping absently at the tears but only managing to smear blood down her cheek. "Such a bloody mess."

There wasn't much Matt could say to that. "Here." He pulled a tissue from a dispenser, handed it to her and watched in silence as she pressed it to her palm, as the blood soaked through it. "Is it stopping at all?"

"Slowing down, I think. It looks worse than it actually is, but it hurts like a bitch." Becca forced a small smile. "I'm such an idiot sometimes, aren't I?"

Unable to help himself, Matt reached out a hand, brushed it lightly down her cheek; half to wipe away a smear of blood, half out of a desire to touch her. "No more tears, Becca. We'll sort it out, I promise."

She turned her face, ever so slightly, so that her clouded grey eyes met his earnest brown ones, stepped closer so that he could wrap his arms around her and hold her close. "We'll work it out."

They stood like that in absolute silence, arms around each other as they sought comfort in the other's closeness. "Becca, you're my best friend," Matt whispered after a moment, his voice oddly husky. "Why does it feel like I'm losing you?"

She couldn't answer.

* * *

"Jesus, Ryan! What have you done to yourself?" Jamie took hold of her arm, pulled her into the light so that he could see more clearly the bloodstains on her shirt. "Fuck, what did you _do?_"

"It's just a cut, Jamie," Becca replied, rolling her eyes at him. "Don't freak out over it."

"What happened?"

"I cut it on some glass. I..." She glanced quickly up at Matt. "I tripped over." For some reason, she didn't want Jamie to know that they had argued. "But it's all better now, see?" She wiggled her bandaged hand at him.

Jamie gave a snort of amusement. "Where the hell did you get _bandages_ from, Ryan?"

She fixed him with a steely stare. "I put it in my purse after somebody tripped over and screwed up their ankle one time."

The girl at Jamie's side – who had so far remained quiet, which was in Becca's opinion an improvement on a lot of the girls Jamie often spent time with – now burst out laughing. "She's got you there, Jamie."

"Thanks, Aub." The boy rolled his eyes, but threw an affectionate arm around the girl's shoulder. "This is Aubrey, my _real_ baby sister. Sorry, but you've been replaced for the week, Ryan."

"I don't mind." Becca smiled warmly at the younger girl. "I'm Becca, this is Matt."

"Nice to meet you, Aubrey." Matt's smile was slightly forced; for some reason, Aubrey's expression was oddly cold as she glanced at him.

"Um...we should probably head off now." Jamie interrupted their glares. "Are you sure you're okay, Ryan?"

"I'm absolutely fucking fine," she replied with some exasperation. "I'll see you around, Aubrey? Jamie, I'll see you when we play later."

"Be careful!" he hollered after them.

Becca rolled her eyes. "I'm going to get that all evening, aren't I?" she groaned. "God, Matt, this is such crap. I look like shit –"

"No, you don't," he argued. "You look very pretty. You always do."

"Yeah, right. But thanks." She slapped his arm affectionately, and he grinned despite the ache he felt at her blindness to his sincerity. "But seriously. I can't look like this and go find..." Becca stopped, suddenly unwilling to bring up the subject which had prompted their former disagreement.

"Soda boy?" Matt cocked an eyebrow. "Shit, Becca, you don't even know who he is." What other argument could he come up with? _I'm as jealous as hell._ The thought surprised him so much that the words almost made it onto his tongue, but he swallowed them just in time. How could he say that, when she saw him as her best friend – and he had Sarifina?

"I've met him before." Becca folded her arms stubbornly. There was something about Shade...right then, she doubted that she'd stay even if Matt begged her to. _Blow off her best friend for a guy she barely knew_? "He was at Hamish's party, at Jen's..."

"Do I know him? What's his name?"

The girl laid a hand on her friend's arm. "Matt, don't," she told him quietly.

Neither spoke for a long moment. Then –

"You can borrow my shirt," Matt broke the silence, resigned and aching inside. "I've got a t-shirt on under it..."

The way Becca's face lit up hurt him even more. "Oh Matt, can I?"

"Sure." Hating himself even as he did it, he unbuttoned the shirt and handed it to her. "Just don't...don't..."

"Don't what?"

"Nothing."

Her hand came up to brush across his cheek. "Thanks, Matt. You're the best."

He nodded, trying to ignore the desire to turn his face to kiss her palm. "It's okay." _It's not okay_! his mind screamed, but it was too late.

"I'll see you later. I hope..." Becca swallowed. "I hope you find Sarifina."

"What? Oh. Yeah." Matt watched as she disappeared back towards the girls' bathroom with his shirt over her arm. He had to force himself to turn away, to muster up any enthusiasm at all as he scanned the crowd for any sign of his girlfriend – his _girlfriend_, he reminded himself. Candy and Chris, Hamish, some tall, blonde boy he didn't recognise...the stranger's eyes flashed almost red in the lights as his gaze flickered briefly towards Matt, who looked quickly away. Where was she?

"Matt." And then she was standing next to him, her dark eyes even deeper than normal. Her face was so serious, but the boy tried to smile light-heartedly. He liked her, he really did, but –

"Sari, I lost you."

He went to take her hand, but she pushed him away. "Don't, Matt." Her eyes were cold, and somehow sad.

"What's wrong with everyone tonight?" The boy threw up his hands in sudden exasperation, anger he had kept tightly controlled in the face of Becca's sadness suddenly loosed. "What have I done? Becca –"

"Becca." Sarifina cut him off. "There's your problem, Matt." Her gaze softened and she took one of his hands in both of her own, kissed it. "I like you, Matt. I really do...but it's too hard when you're in love with someone else."

"I..." But he couldn't deny it. He _was_ in love with somebody else.

Matt was in love with Becca.

"You see?" Sarifina's smile held enough bitterness that it was almost a grimace. "You know how hard this has been for me? When all of your friends can see it, when it's as obvious to them as day and they won't even give me a _chance_ because I'm not her.

"I wanted to hate her, Matt. Wanted to think that she wasn't good enough for you, that she didn't deserve to stand against _me_ for something I want. Wanted," she corrected herself wryly. "But when I talked to her...shit, Matt, she's as crazy in love with you as you are with her, and just as damn ignorant. So I'm out, Matt."

"You..." He couldn't think, couldn't breathe. Sarifina wanted it to be over...because Becca loved him.

Even though he couldn't get the words out, she seemed to know what he meant. "Yes," the dancer murmured. "Go on. Talk to her, tell her, because otherwise you'll be stuck in limbo forever. Or she'll find someone else, Matt – or someone else will find her.

"Talk to her," Sarifina repeated as she stepped back. "Before it's too late."

He would. He would tell her soon, tonight, before that damn soda boy got a hold of her too tightly. He'd talk to her. _Before it's too late_.

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**Please let me know what you think! What do you think of Matt here? And Sarifina?**

**I can guarantee a lot more drama next chapter...and a lot more Shade...**

**It'll be up sooner if you review! (hopeful face)**

**Love, Jude ;) x**


	9. Promises Not Made Never Broken

**AN: Yes, another chapter! I've actually done it – world drops dead in shock. Here it is – chapter nine. Please, please review and let me know what you think – your comments keep me writing (albeit very slowly). Let me know what you think, you theories of what's going to happen...**

**I'm sorry for the wait! Love, Jude x ;)**

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Just a reminder of what happened last time...**

_Matt couldn't think, couldn't breathe. Sarifina wanted it to be over...because Becca loved him._

_Even though he couldn't get the words out, she seemed to know what he meant. "Yes," the dancer murmured. "Go on. Talk to her, tell her, because otherwise you'll be stuck in limbo forever. Or she'll find someone else, Matt – or someone else will find her._

"_Talk to her," Sarifina repeated as she stepped back. "Before it's too late."_

_He would. He would tell her soon, tonight, before that damn soda boy got a hold of her too tightly. He'd talk to her. _Before it's too late.

* * *

**Promises Not Made (Never Broken)**

The problem with being in love with Matt, Becca mused as she stepped back out of the bathroom dressed in his black button-up and with her own soiled shirt over one arm, was that she never knew quite where she was with him. There were things he said, did, _looked_, which sometimes half-convinced her he knew how she felt – a concept which terrified her – and sometimes had her stumbling with the idea that his friendship for her could maybe develop into something more, which possibly terrified her even more.

But she'd made her decision now; she wasn't going to just wait around for him any more. Shade was...what could she say? Sure, she wasn't in love with him, but that instant attraction had to count for something, right?

Pausing for a moment to kick the shards of glass into one corner where she hoped nobody would hurt themselves, Becca crept over to where the band had left their bags, pushed her shirt hastily into the nearest one rather than digging through the pile to find her own. She didn't want to have to fight her way back through the room – well, if she was being totally honest with herself, she didn't want to have to walk past Matt and potentially Sarifina again – so the girl slipped out the rear entrance of the building.

The night breeze was cool against her heated cheeks, and Becca lifted her face to the sky where tiny pinpricks of stars glittered softly against the black. Outside the air was clearer, soothing her confusion until she was calm, until she could breathe easily and the throbbing ache of her hand pained her less. All she had to do know was find Shade, find him and see what he'd mean before when he told her goodbye, that he didn't know if he'd still be here.

The thought of him leaving had Becca hastening her footsteps, hurrying around the building towards the main door where she had first seen him. Music pulsed from inside, a strong and steady bass like a heartbeat; one she could feel vibrating through her fingertip as she reached out to take the handle.

Before her fingers could curl around it, the handle began to move; the door opened, spilling light and sound out into the darkness. A tall figure stood silhouetted for a moment against the bright, vibrant mass of humanity within; only a moment before the door swung closed, a barrier to everything inside.

How Becca knew that it was Shade, she couldn't have said.

"You stayed, then."

He took a step forward, forcing her back, and a flicker of the light on his face showed something different in him, a strange harshness in posture or expression. "Of course I did." His voice was lower, rougher. "I wasn't going to leave without getting what I came for."

Something cracked, chilled in Becca's heart, mixed in with a hefty dose of fear which had abruptly settled in her stomach. What had Matt said? _You don't even know who he is..._

What was she doing?

"If you're trying to scare me away, it's not going to work, Shade," she lied.

That delicious mouth twisted into a cruel smile. "I don't think I need to try all that hard, sweetheart," he smirked.

"Why are you doing this?" Her voice stumbled, broke over the words. Shade hesitated for a second, too briefly for Becca to notice, but the uncertainty was there. However, when he next spoke it was gone.

"I said you wouldn't want to know me." He drove her back another step, like a hunter cornering its prey. "I warned you. And yet here you are."

"What's that supposed to mean?" In place of the fear, anger began to rise, and Becca stood her ground. Perhaps it was an offshoot of her frustration with Matt, but she was suddenly and abruptly pissed off with both boys for treating her the way they had – and continued to. "Just what _exactly_ was I meant to gauge from that, Shade? You don't say anything straight out. Nothing you say seems to _mean_ anything."

His scent washed over her as he leant his head down closer to hers, close enough that it became a shadow blocking out the stars. "You should have stayed with your friends. Safe, inside. Away from me."

Becca's breathing hitched. "So you're dangerous?"

His reply ghosted from the darkness. "Infinitely."

The surety of his reply sent a shiver along her spine. "Why did you make such an effort to make me stay away from you?"

This time his hesitation was noticeable, although it gave the girl no pleasure. "You fascinate me."

"You told me that before."

"Yes."

"Why, Shade? Because of _this_?" Quite deliberately, she reached out her uninjured hand to touch his face before he could read her intention; the shock ran between them once more until he ducked back with alacrity. Too late, for she had already seen his eyes darken with recognition or pain.

"Please don't do that." His voice was low, almost too soft for her to hear.

Hot tears filled stung her eyes, filled her throat. "Why, Shade?" she repeated helplessly.

"Because," he replied. A pause. "Because – if I touch you – I can't pretend that you don't matter." The words came out in a rush, as if he hadn't really meant to say them at all but they had spilled too quickly for him to stop. For a long moment, they simply stared at one another.

Shade reached out with one long, pale finger to tuck back an errant strand of her dark hair behind one ear, his touch lingering against her cheek in a sort of slow, perfect torture. "You're a sweet girl, Becca. I don't want to hurt you."

"Then...don't." But she spoke the last word to empty darkness, because he had disappeared.

She stood still for a moment, undecided, before taking a small step away from the building. The girl glanced back at the door to the student union behind which all of her friends were, Shade's words echoing in her mind. _You don't know me. Go back to your friends. Be safe._

Her head went up; she stood a little straighter, and hurried off into the darkness.

Not a moment too soon, for an instant later the door opened to cast a beam of light out to where she had been standing. Matt's form was starkly outlined against the warmth of the inside, his breath misting in the cool air as he opened his mouth to call out –

"Matt, dude, she didn't go that way." Hamish spoke from just inside the doorway.

At Matt's name, Becca had frozen, still invisible in the shadows just beyond the pool of light. A medley of emotions played across her face, an agony of indecision as to which way to go; which direction to choose. But then the rest of Hamish's words registered on her, and a stubborn set tilted her chin. So he still hadn't found Sarifina.

"Becca went out the back a while ago," Hamish continued. That would have been the moment for the girl to turn back, to step back into the safe familiar comfort where her friends partied. Matt was looking for _her_! That would have been her cue – if she had still been there to hear it.

She wasn't.

"Thanks," Matt replied morosely as he turned back inside, the door swinging shut behind him.

"No problem." Hamish took a swig of his beer. "Well done, by the way. You guys were awesome tonight."

Matt forced a grin. "I hope so, with Chris's cousin here and all. We'll be playing later, too, so stick around."

"Will do. Hey, tell Becca congrats from me, 'kay? You'll do great."

A couple of people called his name as he strode through the room, but Matt didn't stop. He had to find Becca – talk to her, apologise to her.

She wasn't in the corridor outside the bathrooms.

He even dared to glance inside the ladies' room, but she wasn't there.

She wasn't outside the back door staring up at the stars, as he knew was her habit.

He glanced quickly around, before setting off in the direction of the lake. Maybe she was down there.

* * *

Becca was indeed headed in the direction of the lake, where the reflections of the stars glimmered alongside those from the windows of the buildings surrounding it. The darkness reached out to envelop her as she glanced around nervously, made paranoid by every slight noise around her. Even the sound of the music had been left behind, faded as though heard from a different world.

"Shade?" Her voice was loud in the quiet. The answering silence was even louder.

Maybe he'd left. Maybe he'd gone back to the party, gone to find a new girl whose mind he could play with, whom he could charm and entrance and confuse all at the same time. He probably –

"What the _fuck_ do you think you're doing?"

Becca let out a little shriek, unable to contain her surprise as the growl sounded right in her ear. She spun, came face to face with the owner of that voice. "God, Shade, you scared me!"

In the darkness, the boy's eyes were coal black, his face almost luminously pale and set in a snarl. "About bloody time," he hissed, catching both her wrists with one cold hand and gripping them firmly behind her back. His fingers were painfully tight over her wound, and Becca let out an involuntary cry of hurt which he ignored. "Just listen to me. _Listen_."

She nodded, wide eyes fixed on him. He seemed somehow animalistic, feral, strength coursing through his body as waves of anger radiated off him. Yet for some reason, even had she been able to move she wouldn't have. There was something strangely hypnotic in his fury, a compulsion from which Becca couldn't tear her gaze.

"You're going to turn around, and you're going to walk away. You're going to go back to your friends, stay inside. You're going to walk away and forget about all of this, forget about me. I'm dangerous, Becca," he added pleadingly. "Stay away. You're going to stay away." His face was close to hers, the scent of him overwhelming, voice low with intent. "Is that clear?"

She couldn't think, couldn't look away. "Crystal," she breathed.

"Good." His voice came out as a whisper, and then his mouth was on hers.

Hard, cold; pleasure and pain mixed together, mindless – delirious. Demanding and frantic, there was nothing tender about the way Shade kissed her, and yet there was intimacy beyond anything else Becca had known.

And she kissed him back. Her hands, still held motionless behind her with his bruising strength, strained helplessly; craving to touch and unable to, but her movement had him dragging her up against his taller, harder form, had her pressed up against his chest as close as she could possibly be without being a part of him.

He kissed her until her lungs were screaming for air, her body aching for and from his touch, needing more of his taste and scent; until his lips softened and he released her with a sigh.

Shade didn't let go of Becca; rather, his hands slid down to her waist, supported her with a gentleness belied by the bruises already beginning to form on her wrists, the fingermarks folded perfectly around each arm. He lowered his chin onto the top of her head, stared blindly up at the sky while her heartbeat still raced, waiting while her breathing gradually slowed and she stopped shaking. The scent of her in his nostrils was a physical pain – everything that she was enfolded him, a reminder of why it couldn't be her, why she shouldn't be here.

If he could have cried, he would.

"You have to go," he murmured.

"I don't want to."

"I don't want you to."

Becca let out a short, breathless laugh."You're a strange guy, you know that Shade?"

His lips twisted into a bitterly self-mocking grimace. "You don't know the half of it."

"So tell me."

He shook his head. "I don't think so."

Another long silence, while below them the waters of the lake lapped softly at the shore and above them the students of Dartmouth continued their party, oblivious to this little scene down by the edge of the water. Jen and Dan were dancing with their arms around each other, heedless of everyone else; Hannah and Josh were snuggled up on a couch together, her head on his shoulder; Jack, Jamie and Chris were starting to organise their band equipment to play again. Jack was watching Amy with his lips half curved into a smile, Jamie was keeping a weathered eye on his baby sister, and Chris was wondering where the other two members of his band were, angry with Sarifina because she was probably not letting him come back.

Sarifina was standing just outside the back door with silent tears running down her cheeks.

Matt wasn't there.

Becca was slow-dancing beside the lake to no music, with a boy who told her he was dangerous. One of Shade's hands rested in the small of her back, holding her gently against him while her arms hung by her sides, face nestled into his shoulder, eyes closed as their bodies swayed in rhythm to a song which only the two of them could hear.

Shade's face was a mask of agony, and all too abruptly he pushed her away.

"What is it?" Becca ran both hands back through her hair, watched him helplessly as he stood with his back to her for a long moment.

"Being this close to you hurts," he admitted after a long moment.

"Do you...do you want me to go?"

"No. But you should. I should go."

Neither of them made any move to leave.

Their eyes met, and for a confusing second Becca thought that his eyes were red. In one sudden, startling movement – faster than she could read his intention – he closed the distance between them, bringing her body flush against his. Her head fell back to look up at him, and then his face was at her neck.

Shade inhaled deeply; it felt as though he was trying to breathe in her essence, trying to commit her scent to memory. For some reason it sent a shiver through her; his closeness, paired with his own intoxicating cologne, were making Becca light-headed and she arched back involuntarily, felt his hands holding her gently but firmly to him.

"So how do I smell?" She tried to tease, but the words came out as a breathless whisper. Shade lifted his head so that his eyes – now pitch black in the darkness – could meet hers.

"Mouthwatering," he replied softly. She couldn't bring herself to speak as he studied her for a moment longer before dipping down suddenly to rest his forehead against hers. One hand cupped her face, its thumb absently stroking her cheek, while the other remained behind her back, holding her close. Becca's own hands slipped around his waist and she wondered at how cold he was.

"Shade," she murmured, about to suggest they go somewhere warmer, but the sound of his name seemed to startle him as he tensed, his forehead wrinkling into a frown.

"Becca."

He started to take a step back, but she clung to him; something told her that even all of her strength couldn't stop him from drawing away if he wanted to, but she couldn't let go. "Shade, please."

"What?" Strained, hoarse, that one word held a world of emotion.

Becca tilted her head back, offering her lips up to him once more, and she saw his own twitch into a half smile. His mouth met hers again, this time softer but with a restrained tension which drove her crazy, and she lifted both hands to his cheeks to pull him even closer, wanting and craving and needing more.

The moment her wounded hand came in contact with him, everything changed.

His mouth was no longer on hers; rather, he had seized her injured fingers with a motion so lightning-quick that she hadn't seen him move at all.

"Shade, that hurts," she whispered, unable to lift her voice any louder.

"You're bleeding."

His gaze had changed. She was still pressed up close to him, but the element was different; suddenly she was scared. His hand holding hers lifted it, stretching her arm behind his head until she was sobbing – half in fear and half in pain.

But then the ache in her wrist was insignificant as his mouth, cold and cruel and hard, crashed against her neck just where her pulse throbbed, skin and flesh tearing like paper under the assault.

She screamed once.

Her blood warmed his mouth as it flowed between them, and just as abruptly his face was gone. "I told you," he breathed. "I warned you."

"But..." _...you promised_, she began weakly, and then realized that he hadn't. His only reply to her laughing request had been, _you shouldn't be here_.

"I'm so sorry," Shade whispered.

And then the vampire lowered his mouth back to her throat, and Becca felt herself falling, falling through darkness. Her vision cleared briefly as she met a pair of blood-red eyes from which the shadows had abruptly fallen, and her only thought was that she'd trusted him, believed in him, and he'd betrayed her.

"How could you?" she breathed, but as the strength ebbed out of her with her heartbeat, she couldn't be sure if the words had only sounded in her own head.

Becca tried to blink back the black spots which blurred her vision, but darkness enveloped her all too suddenly. Panicking, she reached out blindly, but cold hands caught hers and held them still.

A vibration of breath on her fingers which might have been the chill breeze:

"Becca, I'm so sorry."


	10. Losing You

**AN: I'm sorry! I know I said I'd update sooner, but then everything got a little too hectic. But the next chapter's here now. I'm sorry to leave you on the cliff edge...**

**This chapter was quite hard to write – the characters all decided to be awkward and wouldn't get in the right place at the right time! But hopefully it'll work, and some of your questions will begin to be answered. Thanks for the reviews, they always make me smile! I also heard that someone's started a thread on Twilighted for this story – thank you so much! My friend will be over there, so if you've got any questions she'll pass them on to me (I refuse to get an account over there, because I'd never get any actual writing done lol!) **

**Love, Jude ;) x**

**Although it's not necessary, I would recommend just quickly re-reading the last bit of the previous chapter so you can remember exactly what was going on. **

**

* * *

**_She screamed once._

_Her blood warmed his mouth as it flowed between them, and just as abruptly his face was gone.__ "I told you," he breathed. "I warned you."_

"_But..." ...you promised, she began weakly, and then realized that he hadn't. His only reply to her laughing request had been, _you shouldn't be here_._

_A vibration of breath on her fingers which might have been the chill breeze:_

"_Becca, I'm so sorry."_

_

* * *

_**Losing You**

Matt hurried through the darkness towards the lake. There was a growing sense of urgency in him which he couldn't quite name a reason for; sure, Becca might have found her soda boy by now, but she'd still talk to him, right? Besides, they were playing soon. She'd have to come with him then.

Maybe he could talk to the guys, show them the new song he'd written. He'd originally started it for Sari, because that was the sort of thing a guy did for his girlfriend, right? But then it had changed, changed until it didn't sound like her at all, didn't seem to be written for Sarifina. At the time it had confused him, and because he didn't like being confused, he'd stopped.

He could finish it now, though. He could already hear the bassline beating itself out in his mind, wanted to get back to his dorm to set it all down. He'd talk to Becca first, though. That couldn't wait.

So what if it was cheesy? She'd call him out on that, but it was just the sort of thing he knew that would make her laugh, make her understand. Matt wanted to see her smile again. Wanted to be the one she was smiling for.

He had to slow down as the ground sloped, catching hold of branch protruding from a bush to steady himself and scraping his palm in the process. With a wince, he straightened, glancing around. Why would Becca have come down here? The earth underfoot was damp and slippery, and it was bloody _cold_.

Maybe she hadn't found her soda boy after all – maybe she'd been heading back to the dorms when Hamish saw her leaving through the back door. But why would she have done that if they were meant to be playing again tonight? Of course – she'd be back inside with the rest of the band, checking that everything was organised. There'd be some strange looks from the others when they saw her wearing his shirt, but they'd save their comments for him – then they'd give him hell over it.

Not that he blamed them. He'd been such an ass. But he was going to change that now – he was going to treat her the way in which he should have before, tell her what he realised the others already knew.

His shoes slipped slightly in the damp earth and he fell down biting back a curse; froze as he heard Becca's voice call out. Matt hadn't heard exactly what it was she said, but he knew it was her, and his heart leapt. She was nearby; but where?

Scrambling up, he glanced around in the darkness to find her; followed in the direction which he thought her voice had come from, a little further up away from the lake.

His suspicion was confirmed as a slight scream split the silence up ahead.

_Becca's hurt_. The thought slammed into him like a fist. Becca was hurt and he couldn't find her, wasn't there to look after her. His pace quickened, heart thudding in his throat as his searching eyes caught a glimpse of movement; two figures. He knew one of them was Becca, but then he stopped.

The low murmur of voices reached his ears; the pair was standing very close, intimately so. Matt didn't even see who Becca was with, but he could see their linked hands, the total lack of fear in the girl's face. He could see when their lips met; could see that Becca certainly wasn't resisting.

How could she have chosen this stranger over him?

It blazed like white fire through his chest, a sudden agony so acute that it left him breathless. She couldn't, _she couldn't, _but as he turned away blindly and began to run, he realised that he'd made the choice for her. It was his own fault, and god – _god_ – knowing that only made the pain worse, until the choking sobs that wrenched the breath from his lungs forced him to stop and stand half bent over, hands on his knees.

They were supposed to be playing soon. Matt didn't want to have to face Becca, didn't want to stand behind her on stage while she sang songs they'd written together, smiled out at the boy she had kissed. So he straightened and continued to walk numbly back towards the dorms, the music fading with every footstep he took further away until his own ragged breathing was the only sound in the chill night air.

Every step took him further away from the agony of what he'd seen, of having to face Becca, and yet the distance made him strangely uneasy. _Be careful,_ Jamie had warned Becca, but his eyes had said more to Matt; they'd told him to make sure she was, told him to look after her.

Well screw that. She had her soda boy to look after her now.

* * *

"Where the fuck have they got to?"

Jack and Jamie exchanged a nervous glance as Chris paced angrily back and forth, but didn't say anything. Attempting to placate him wouldn't do any good until Becca and Matt turned up; any words now would simply get the speaker's head bitten off.

"They should be here! We're meant to be playing," Chris fumed. "Why the fuck do they think –"

"Hey, aren't you s'posed to be playing again, dude?" Dan called up to his brother, one arm holding an obviously intoxicated Jen close as she giggled. "Where are Matt and Becca?"

"They've fucking disappeared!" Chris growled. "Matt's probably off with that bitch, and god only knows where Ryan's got to." He glowered down at Dan. "You haven't seen them, have you? They need to get their asses over here so we can start."

"_I_ haven't. Jen, babe, have you any idea where Becca's gone?"

"Becca?" Jen blinked blearily, gave another giggle. "Soda."

"You're looking for Becca?" Aubrey appeared just behind her brother. "I've just been over there, she wasn't getting a drink. Sorry," she added apologetically as Chris turned his glare on her. Jamie placed a protective arm about his little sister's shoulders, scowled right back. "She and Matt were arguing earlier, though, so..."

"You don't know that they were arguing, Aub," Jamie interrupted. "And they wouldn't blow off this to fight. Ryan _had_ hurt her hand, though," he remembered abruptly.

"Matt would've told us if he was taking her back home." Jack shook his head.

"So where –"

"– the fuck is Matt?" Candy stormed up, her face like thunder to match her boyfriend's. "I've just found that girl of his out back, crying. I don't know what the hell's wrong with her, and she's been sobbing on _my _shoulder. I don't even like the girl! Where _is_ he?"

"Matt's not with Sarifina?" Jamie's face showed his surprise.

"I just said that, didn't I?"

"Well, shit." Jack glanced at the others. "Have we tried calling either of them?"

"Ryan always keeps her cell in her bag. I don't have any signal in here. I'll go outside," Jamie added quickly as Chris turned on him angrily. "Aub, you go find Hannah and see if she's seen them, okay?" The girl nodded, hurrying off into the crowd.

"I was thinking of taking Jen home," Dan murmured. "But if you can't find them..."

"No, go on. They'll be around somewhere. If Sarifina's crying, they might've broken up which means Matt and Ryan'll have probably hooked up. Asshole."

None of them needed to ask to know which one Candy was condemning.

"They should still fucking _be_ here," Chris raged.

"I'm going out to call Matt." Jamie hastily backed away. "You coming this way, Dan?"

Aubrey reappeared beside them as they fought their way through the noisy, drunken crush to the door. "Hannah hasn't seen them," she reported. "But Hamish overheard, and said that Matt was looking for Becca a little while ago, thinks that he followed her out the back."

"Great," Jamie groaned. "Where've they gone, if not back to a dorm to fu–" He cut himself off quickly, glancing at his little sister, but Aubrey just rolled her eyes.

"You're as bad as mom, Jay. I do know how swear, you know."

"Whatever," he shrugged as they made their way out of the front entrance, a blast of cool air hitting them and causing Jen to complain loudly.

"Why are we outside? I want to go back in, Danny. Where's Becca? I want to know if she got her soda yet."

"Sure she did," Dan soothed her, shooting a warning glare at Jamie who had already opened his mouth to mock _Danny_.

The other boy gave a lopsided grin, and Dan groaned to know that it was something that would definitely be brought up later. For now, though, Jamie merely pulled his cellphone from his pocket to scroll down to Matt's number, taking a few steps further from the building so that they music was a little quieter. Aubrey followed, shivering in her thin shirt, and he drew her automatically closer with one arm.

Matt picked up after the fourth ring, his voice oddly gravelly. "What?"

"Matt, where the hell are you? We're meant to be playing, and Chris is having a total pissing fit 'cause you're not here."

"I don't feel too great. I was going to head back home." His voice was flat, and there was no booming music in the background, which told Jamie that Matt had already gone. He scowled, and Aubrey shot him a worried look which he ignored.

"Well fuck, dude, couldn't you have told us this before you decided to go awol on our asses?"

"Sorry." He didn't sound sorry, he sounded pissed.

"Thanks. Nice of you to bail on us. Are you okay, though? You sound kinda off." The speaker was fuzzy, but there was a muffled background sound that could have been a sort of strangled laugh. "Dude, is Ryan there?"

A short pause. Then –

"No," Matt replied.

"Do you know where she is, then? And is she okay, her hand –"

"Why the fuck would I know?" he exploded through the cell. "I'm not her keeper."

"I was just –"

"Well _don't_."

Another pause, as Jamie wasn't quite sure what to say in return. Matt didn't sound right, his lack of concern for Ryan – when clearly she couldn't be found, and the others were worried enough to be calling _him_ to find out – was utterly uncharacteristic. It was Matt who broke the quiet at last. "Does Jen know?"

"Jen doesn't know _anything_, she's completely pissed. Still thinks Ryan's gone off to get a soda."

No reply.

An uncomfortable quiet.

"I'd better get back to the others. By the way, Matt, Sarifina –" But the other boy had already hung up.

"He so knows where she is," Aubrey murmured as Jamie stared speechlessly at the phone in his hand. "Seriously, why are you friends with him? He's a complete dick."

"He's not," Jamie defended him. "Well, not completely."

Aubrey's lack of reply was rather pointed.

"Did you get hold of him?" Dan was still waiting by the building when they got back to him; he was gently holding up a very pale Jen. "Where is he?"

"Gone home."

"Asshole. Where's Ryan?"

Jamie shrugged. "She –"

A scream rung out, and they froze.

It cut through the night air in chilling agony, making the three – Jen was still staring blearily at the ground – turn to scan the darkness. Aubrey clung to her brother, abruptly terrified, and Jamie's fingers were tight around her arm in return.

"What the fuck?"

"That isn't good." Dan shook his head, drawing Jen even closer in automatic defence. "That didn't sound good."

"Someone's hurt, Jamie." Aubrey turned massive eyes on Jamie. "Someone's –"

"Why is Becca screaming?"

The boys' heads snapped up, eyes meeting in a mutual terror. They hadn't recognised the voice, hadn't thought _who_ it could be, until Jen voiced the thought.

"Why is Becca screaming?" she repeated insistently.

"Shit. Shit, fuck. That's Ryan."

They stared at one another in frozen silence for a moment longer; the scream didn't come again, and somehow that was worse.

Another moment passed, and then they swung into action. Jamie pushed Aubrey back towards the building, turning to stride out into the darkness, but his sister clung to his arm. "Jay, you can't go out by yourself!" she cried.

"It's _Ryan_!"

"It could be _you_. I'm coming with you."

"You're _not _coming with me, Aub!" he roared.

"Aubrey, get the hell inside and get the others," Dan ordered. "Jamie, I'm getting Jen inside and then I'm coming with you. _Wait _for me!" But Jamie had already taken off at a run towards the lake, in the direction from which the scream had come.

"Where's Becca?" Jen's voice was plaintive. "Where is she?" And then she begun to cry.

* * *

Matt hung up, turning his cell off straight away so Jamie couldn't call back.

He arrived back at his dorm, shrugging out of his shirt and flinging it angrily into the corner before falling face down on the bed, only to jerk back up as if startled. His pillow smelt of Sarifina. With a curse, he flipped it over and lay back down.

He was tired, and his head ached from the alcohol high which was beginning to wear off, and his eyes were stinging as if he was about to cry. But Matt wasn't going to cry. He wouldn't.

He fell asleep fighting tears, and if there was a salty trail on his cheek when he woke, nobody saw it.

He dreamt that he had gone back to the party, and Becca had come to find him. She had slipped her arms around him, and neither said anything because there was nothing to say. People were running around them in confusion, searching for Becca, but they couldn't see her because she was dancing with him. When the sirens began, because Jamie had called the cops, Matt took a step back to tell them that Becca was all right, that she was here – but all at once she was too far away, falling backwards, and the sirens were getting louder. "Becca," he tried to say, "I love – "

But then he woke up, and the sirens were still screaming outside, and Becca was gone.

* * *

**Please review! Let me know what you think, any theories about what's going to happen, and where the Cullens will fit in – because I think they're going to appear soon... J ;) x**


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